A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy over the past 11 weeks at university, who happens also to be my flatmate. After breaking up for the holidays, it came up in conversation that I liked him and was interested in more, but he made it clear he wanted to stay as "friends who have sex" or if I no longer wanted to, then "just friends". I really like him, and not sure what to do. We recently met up to go Christmas shopping, got along brilliantly and kissed goodbye - hard to describe, but he gave the impression of "more" but insists he doesn't want a relationship (all he's ever had are flings).Help!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 December 2012):
 OP said:
“he gave the impression of “more” but insists he doesn’t want a relationship”
And I will explain why in this case we need to listen to his words not his actions (and when a man says “I love you” but doesn’t show it we tell you to listen to his actions not his words how very confusing it must be to the young people of the world that we have one response for positive actions/words and another for negative)
WHEN a man says he wants FWB, he’s not lying. This is the ONE thing I can say with certainty that the words need to be listened to NOT the actions.
HE TOLD YOU POINT BLANK he does not want a relationship with you. You want one and will look at ANY little thing and try to make it seem like he wants more. Men like to kiss and cuddle as much as women… it still does not mean they want a relationship.
IF you want more than FWB then I strongly suggest you be nothing more than friends with this guy or else you are setting yourself up for anger, hurt and heartbreak.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2012): Spare yourself and dont grasp at straws. You will read too much into his friendly behviour and live on false hope. He has been very clear about not wanting a relationship. You cannot continue a FWB as you have emotions invested. You need to walk away or you will not only get hurt but feel like a fool for holding onto something that is not there. I agree woman are emotional creatures and with the intimacy they develop a bond but in most cases in one sided. So you need to walk away from teh FWB or drown in heartache and sorrow as there s no future.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (20 December 2012):
 He made your options very clear. There's no number 3 option to choose from. He didn't say:
1. FWB
2. Friends
3. Relationship
That's the way it is. The guy isn't going to tell you those two options and then put off like he wants a relationship. That's you looking way to far into this when it's very black and white.
DO NOT confuse FWB as being a relationship, it is not. A FWB DOESNT turn into a RELATIONSHIP. If you want more then I suggest you choose being just friends with this guy...because he is not going to give you what you want.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 December 2012):
 "FWB" arrangements routinely morph in to something wherein the FEMALE would like it to be "more"..... but the guy is quite content to get a little nooky, whenever he (and she) wants...... YOU are in that predicament, now...
Your choices are clear:
1. Leave the FWB as it was/has been, or,
2. Make the "FWB" go away, and seek another, REAL "boyfriend" who will agree to be more to you than just a stiff penis....
Good luck.....
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