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I want him to have the freedom he needs but also for us to spend quality time together too.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and 4 days ago he split up with me. The main reason for this is because of a problem that has plagued our relationship for a long time. He works away from home Monday to Friday. This means our only opportunity to spend time together is at the weekend, which means since I havn't seen him all week I want to spend the majority of the weekend with him. However, the problem lies in the fact that the weekend is also his only time to see his family and all of his friends and have some "me" time. I understand he needs his own space but find it difficult seeing little of him at the weekend and we often end up arguing. I guess I feel like he doesn't care enough for me as he doesn't want to spend all weekend with me- thats selfish I know but I do miss him. He says he feels trapped and that he can't fit his whole life into a weekend.

I love him a lot and other than this problem I feel we have a really good relationship with a strong friendship underlying it. I want him to have the freedom he needs but also for us to spend quality time together too. Most of all I want him back because I know we can be happy together. How can I convince him that being in a relationship needn't make him feel trapped, how can I ensure we spend quality time together and how can win him back and convince him we can be happy?

View related questions: split up, trapped

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I wrote this problem and I am really angered by your responses. The fact that my boyfriend needs time to see his family only shows that he is a caring person. This is a real relationship. He rings me every night he is away and he does try to see me at the weekend. I guess the way I wrote the problem did make him sound emotionally non present but I can assure you hes not and hes loving and affectionate when we do spend time together. We are in the process of working things out. We spent a week apart and he has realised how much he missed me. The problem is time managment.

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