A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone, I have a problem that at this point in my life I don't know how to address, I have allways been a very logical, analytical but very very anxious person, recently I am starting to realize that my anxiety is taking a turn that is starting to interfere with my daily life. I have a boyfriend that is a very good guy, at the begining of our relationship he didn't wanted to get into a relationship because of the fear of loosing freedom, but with the time he started changing and he started to get more and more into the relationship as i am. We have been exclusive since the begining, we have been together 9 months. In the last 3 years I have had a lot of changes in my life ( like move to many places for work and college, broke up and engagement of 5 years with a guy that was verbally abbusive), but around one year ago I finish college I got my master degree and I was offered a really good job, profetionally I feel extremelly well, I am well respected in my job, and people always has consider me a very good profetional. So this looks like I have a preetty descent life, but I am always worry about everything, I am always thinking that something bad is going to happen, I am always affraid of screw everything as a profesional, and in the case of my boyfriend, I am always affraid he cheated, i am always affraid he only want me for sex, I am affraid of so many things, I have address all this fears with my boyfriend and all what he always try to do is make me happy, he has even tell me that he has never feel for someone what he feels for me ( he is 29 years old), I am his first relationship, and according to him he has even told me that if I don't want to have sex with him that is fine, that he can live without that, he say he just want to be with me. All these fears makes me feel bad, and I try to fight them back and I can't, I try to analyse all the time everything and I am always try to find faults in everybody, I guess I am very scare of rejection, my family has always reject me and I don't have a good relationship with them. I sometimes don't understand what is wrong with me, i am always trying to anticipate the wrong things that can happen and at the end nothing wrong happen, it is all in my head. I have a wonderfull career, I am well respected as profetional, my boyfriend does everything to please me and I am always looking for bad things in everything in my life. I don't know if someone has pass for this, I really need an advice.
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female
reader, chandra Mcmillan  +, writes (8 October 2008):
 Hun, anxiety is so bad and with them usual you have paranoya and panick attacks. Try to find methods of coping with stress, keeping a journal helps write how you feel every day and then burn the paper after you have written everything you feel, as it burns think about it as leaving your head get rid of the rubbish you are thinking about.Usually most people who have these feelings have been cheated on in the past and this is why you worry he will cheat (Not always true but sometimes the case). Breathing techniques help lear n to see the signs that you are becoming more anxious and take deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Tell your partner how you feel let him know that there is somthing making you feel unhappy and anxious. If all else fails speak to your GP about methods to cope if you dont want any medication. Or try herbal tablets that help calm you. I hope this helps hun Good luck
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