A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I’m engaged and due to get married within the next 2 years. I’ve already been married twice before and both weddings were cheap so now I actually want a proper no expense spared wedding but my family think I’m being stupid.My first marriage was at 21 me and my boyfriend thought we were in love and eloped to get married - we had no money so it was a simple registry office with 2 witnesses we found and a Chinese takeaway. The marriage lasted 5 years and we split up on amicable terms.I then got married again at 32. We were planning a lavish wedding but my fiancés mum became unwell so we bought the wedding forward so she could see us get married, she died 2 weeks later. Of course I never begrudged this as it was his mum but the wedding was in a cheap hotel suit and we wore borrowed clothes- not even a wedding dress or a cake or first dance. We split up after 3 years as he was cheating on me.I’m now planning my 3rd wedding and I do want it all - we have the money and no obstacles in our way but my family think it will be a waste of money and it will be my fiancés 2nd marriage so he’s not too fussed what we do but is happy to have a big wedding. His family also think we should keep it simple and everyone keeps commenting on our ages (I’m 42 he’s 45) saying we are too old to have such a wedding. Just to clarify none of the families are paying for our wedding, it’s our savings and we can afford it. I’mJust being made to feel guilty for wanting a nice day.I’m in my early 40’s and this will be the last time I wed, so my only chance to have a fairy take day as I’ve always imagined since I was small. Is it wrong of me to want this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2023): Too old ? Nonsense. 42 is the new 32. And ,as the other ladies have said, it's your wedding and your money - do the heck you want. If your fiance ' had insisted for a very simple wedding, then ok, you should have taken that into account ; but luckily he's on board with whatever you choose, so go ahead, organize a nice something with bells and whistles. People say this and that ? Let them talk . People have always got something to say. If you had eloped, they would have accused you to be two cheapskates !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2023): Your (plural) life.
Your wedding.
Your money.
I don't see a problem.
I would never spend money on a big wedding (and we didn't), but I would fight for your right to do so ;)
All kidding aside. What worries me that the families feel they have the right to judge you and guilt-trip you.
I understand that they do not share your opinion, we don't have to agree on everything, but we have to agree on respecting other people's decisions.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  + ♥, writes (17 June 2023):
 Its your wedding and your money do whatever you want and don't feel badly about it! Its your day and in the end YOU should be happy. I truly understand what you mean too. I have been married twice, the first time was a "shotgun" type wedding, it was in my parent's home, the second time was at a justice of the peace. I never got the wedding I wanted so I get it. Congratulations sweetie and do what will make you happy!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (16 June 2023):
 Nobody can make you feel guilty without your permission. This is what YOU want. Your fiance is fine with it. It is YOUR money. It is YOUR life. Do what makes you happy.
I bet the ones who are offering their opinions will still come to the wedding and enjoy themselves. ;-)
Good luck. Have a wonderful day. You deserve it.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (16 June 2023):
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