A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Over the past 2 weeks I have really fallen for someone who works down my local. I spent a couple of hours talking to her and drinking with her Saturday night after her shift, and I really thought she felt the same about me. The owner of the pub told me I should make a move, so I asked if I could go back to her place. She agreed and asked me to sleep on the couch. A couple of mins later and her dad came downstairs and took me home, I didn't have a set of keys on me and I ended up sleeping in the greenhouse.I sent her a text this morning telling her how I felt and asked her if she would like to go out with me one evening. The reply I got was "sorry I think I was giving out wrong signals I only want to be friends". I'm crazy about her and I now feel I have to avoid my local where she works, so she doesn't feel awkward.I took the advice from a friend, made a move and i've now ruined everything and I don't know what to do.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (12 August 2008):
 Do not attend the pub for a while until you are regularly dating more than one woman. Then when enough time has passed, and you are not physically friendly with your new lovers, show up at the pub with one of them. She will start to wonder if she made a mistake when she sees that other women find you attractive and desirable.
Being friends with a woman that you are attracted to will hurt you. It is good for her because she will get the benefits of your friendship (such a favors and help doing stuff for her), but emotionally it will damage and drain you to be near her, always hoping something will happen, and not having your affections returned.
Either work towards seducing her, or move on from her completely is my take on it.
-Frank B Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe doesn't seem to want to be my friend anymore either. Should I just stay away from the pub for a while and wait for things to cool down?
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A
female
reader, NoProblem +, writes (11 August 2008):
 The only way of a possibilty of her opnion changing is time.
You have not ruined your chances of being with this gir because of your friend. Because you have asked her now she knows she knows you like her. What you can do to change her opinion is to spent alot of time with her get really close and become really good friends. If this doesnt work it is just not meant to be sorry.
Friendships is better than nothing at all if you really like this girl. Dnt beat yourself that you have ask her and she told you what she said because you have taken a risk and found out.
Good luck
Looking forward to a follow up
xxxxx
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (11 August 2008):
I did a lecture on exactly this topic called: From Friends To Lovers: Stop Being Her Emotional Cookie Man.
You are currently in the category of her brain that makes her see you as a friend. She will never date you until you change that.
1-Don't become her therapist no matter how much you like her
2-Take a break from her UNTIL you learn about her emotional needs
3-Learn about her emotional needs, and how to address them
Once you have learned about her emotional needs and how to address them..
let her back into your life and make her your girlfriend.
You are trying to logically prove to her she should date you, and this is EMOTIONAL decision.
You can read reviews of my lecture that has the steps and information you need: http://www.lulu.com/content/2440004
-Frank B Kermit
Author of From Friends To Lovers
http://www.lulu.com/content/2440004
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A
male
reader, Saleem  +, writes (11 August 2008):
you havent runined anything..
Love begins with friendship.
Just the fact that she wants to be your friends says that she enjoys talking to you and she doesnt think you are a jerk or anything like that.
I think you should continue talking to her just as a friend and after some time she may develop feelings for you and if she does, she will let you know..
Dont rush anything, just be her friend..
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