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I told him that 'friends' wasn't enough, but I don't understand his response?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 June 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 June 2011)
A female France age 30-35, *issyd writes:

Hi

I had a crush on this guy. Since he didn't asked me out even i figured he didn't liked me back.

At one point i man-ed up and told him that i liked him, that being friends wasn't enough and so we couldn't be friends anymore.

It's a bit cut throat but, i thought it'll hurt less this way.

He said that he didn't want me out of his life, that he couldn't make his mind that he'll never see me again. And he told me "you decided my answer was no".

I only wanted this conversation to end so i didn't picked up but now i keep thinking about it. What did he mean? Why did he react this way? Should i insist or just move on?

View related questions: crush, move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011):

well he is right, you did basically decide for him that the answer is "no"

obviously he's not interested in being more than friends. You drew the line in the sand that if you can't be more than friends, then you dont' want to stay as friends any more.

so he's just going with your terms and conditions that you set.

that's not wrong of you to do, if it's truly how you feel and what you can and can't live with.

it's not a big deal, dont' make it into one.

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A female reader, Dear Mandy United Kingdom +, writes (17 June 2011):

Dear Mandy agony auntHI

I think you man-ed up far too much, rather than telling him how you felt. You cant push someone into a corner in that way and expect them to give you an answer just like that. What he meant was you didn't even give him a chance to answer for himself weather or not he would like to be more than friends with you, you just said being friends is not enough and walked away from it. If you really want to be with this man, tell him your very sorry for the way you dealt with your feelings towards him, and that what you really meant to say was, you really like him and would like to be more than friends, you would like to be lovers. And see what he say's then, but dont rush him, the best things always comes to those who wait!!! xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2011):

You never asked him if he wanted to go out with you.. You assumed he didn't want to because he didn't ask you out, but maybe he was just shy and unsure and he does like you... Just try and have a normal conversation with him...

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