A
female
age
16-17,
softballplaya
writes:Okay everyone my problem is that im dating a very good guy. We are both 14 (no lectures please) i have a good head on my shoulders and same for him too. Our relationship has been the cute lovey-dovey type. However since i told him about an incident in my past that involved my ex and sex ( nothing happened but we were thinking about it) My current boyfriend hates my ex and now since i told him this hes been sexual. I miss the way it used to be, cute and sweet, it still is but its not the same. I feel the same way when im with him but when im alone i second guess my feeling about truly wanting to them. I havent yet but he has asked. (i know noone will take me seriously when i say this but we really are in love!) so its not just like im a hoe and he wants to hit it; its serious.I dont know how to get back all the cute and sweet things we had. He was never sexual until i told him about my ex. Why does he want this now, I dont understand...please help me, i dont know what to do=/
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female
reader, softballplaya + ♥, writes (25 March 2008):
softballplaya is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you everyone, your advice has really helped me!
i appreciate it all
god bless and take care!!
xox
A
female
reader, Hope_123  + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
 It sounds like he got a little jealous when you told him about sex and your ex, and is trying to sort of prove himself. Like show you that he can match up to your ex and be better.
If you're not ready to have sex or anything then don't (u r still underage & I'm not lecturing don't worry!), but I do think that it's possible to be in love at 14. I thought I was in love at 12! Hehe.
Good luck! Keep us posted!
xx Hope xx
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A
female
reader, mebee415  +, writes (24 March 2008):
 hey softballplayaI'm 14 as well and im in a realtionship (with an guy slightly older) slightly like that. we are both mature for our age so we're almost like an old married couple but i understand what youre talking about.My advice to you is to talk. talking is the only way any relationship can move forward. I was raped a year ago and since then i have changed quite a bit. instead of becoming closed off and timid, i became more flirty and sexual around guys. i dont know why, im not proud of the rape but its just how i took it. i started drinking and making bad desicions. My boyfriend has discussed wanting to have sex with me. he told me he is finding me more and more sexy and he thinks its the next step in our relationship. i agree with him and i know we are both smart enough to use protection etc. but in your case i think the best thing is to wait. your bf is obviously feeling pressured by what his precompetition left behind. he probably doesnt feel ready for sex but thinks that thats what you want in a boyfriend.Talk with him and make sure he understands your side of the story. if he continues with the sexual behavior when he knows its not wanted, then hes not the guy for you, no matter how much it hurts to admit that. Hope you have success, message me if you need to talk any more.xox
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A
female
reader, softballplaya + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
softballplaya is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat does sulking mean? lol sorry
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
 Who says you cant be in love at 14, certainly not me. Dont you think though at 14 you are jumping the gun with the sex stuff. I mean if he only started to ask for sex when he found out that you had sex before. It does make me worry that he might be more interested in sex than you think.
You ask what should you do? I think you should hold of having sex until another couple of years. Because it sounds to me like he is sulking a little.
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A
female
reader, Emmaxbaby +, writes (24 March 2008):
 I think your boyfriend deeply does love you, and could maybe feel jealous that you were thinking of getting sexual with another guy.
Maybe your boyfriend thinks you want to get sexual as you were willing to with another guy, he might of thought you were trying to hint that you wanted to get sexual.
If you dont want to have sex your well in your right to say no, i think that maybe you should find a time when its just you and him and tell him your not ready for sex, you want to take things slow. He should respect your feelings, If hes worth it honey he will wait until your ready.
Hope this helps, best of luck x
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