A
male
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anonymous
writes:i have been with my fiancee for 2 years now, we don't live together and she has a child with special needs. she told me at the beginning of our relationship that she likes to go on holidays. this has not been a problem until now. she works in a school so gets 11 weeks holiday a year. since july she has been on 4 holidays, 3 without me as i do not get as many as her. she is now going on a fifth holiday with her child and a female friend of hers who also has a child with special needs. i do not trust her friend as she flirted with me in the past and tried, to get my fiancee to chat up other men when she was at a club, although supposrdly as a joke. i told my fiancee of my misgivings about her friend, but decided that my misgivings are not warranted and booked the holiday anyway. .she pays for the holidays with her own money and feels that as this is the case, i have no right to try to stop her from going. i feel that she is not taking my feelings into account and taking me for granted. do you think this is the case?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): Hmmmm.
You're in a two year relationship and you are engaged. I think at this stage she should maybe not be going on holiday without you, particularly because you are not happy with her doing so.
I don't think you have to worry about her friend. A few of my friends have questionable ethics when it comes to the other sex but their ways would never rub off on me.
Perhaps her life has a lot of stress in it, and that is why she goes on holiday so often? I'm sure most people don't have five holidays a year, even if they could afford them. How does she find looking after her child? And how does she find her job? Would you say she was happy with her life?
She has a right to go on holiday as much as she wants, but you also have a right to express your views. I think rather than arguing on this matter, you should consider whether or not there are any circumstances that are causing her to have this many holidays and if so, see if you can make her realise what they are and then you are in a position to work at fixing this dispute.
If after everything, she continues to do something you are not happy doing, you should consider whether or not she would make a good wife. What happens in the future if she decides to do something else regardless of your views? By then it would be too late to simply end it.
I hope I've been of some help. Good luck to you in sorting out this problem.
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