A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been friends with a guy for about years. The last two or three we have been really close. I want to take our rlationship to the next level but don't know how. I can't just come out and say it because he gets very skiddish at the thought of relationships. Over the past few years at times I've felt he was on the verge of asking me out then nothing happened. Over the past 6 months though we have been talking on the phone or texting almost daily. Sometimes he texts 1st sometimes I do. When I do though he usually responds within 1 minute. What can I look for in his calls and texts to see if he's ready to step it up a notch or if we're friendzone all the way.
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female
reader, GettingHelp  +, writes (18 April 2010):
I went thru something similar with a really close guy friend quite a few years ago.
We got really really close sharing deep, personal things with each other, flirting via sms (we also had many personal jokes via sms) and smsing almost every day.
He made the first move and I cocked it up. he started sending x's (kisses) and I didn't respond with them. I think that scared him off.
Maybe you could try what my friend did & test the water a little. Send a single "x" at the end of ur goodnight message and see what you get back. If you don't get an "x" back, don't freak out like my friend and don't lose hope. You'll have to follow CaringGuy's advice then and speak to the guy.
My advice though would be not to leave it too long, there may be a spark and the initial spark will be kept alive by hope for only so long. Eventually the other person may lose hope in YOU showing interest and squash their hope as well as squashing that spark.
Don't act too swiftly, but don't leave it too long, it would suck (I can tell you from personal experience) to miss your romantic chance with him.
I wish you the best of luck.
(Oh an P.S. We never did have a romantic relationship (although he is an always will be my first real crush that showed interest in me 3 sigh) we are still really great friends, we talked about what happened but by that stage we had both moved on - we're still really close & the friendship wasn't damaged by what happened - maybe that'll reassure you a little.)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 April 2010):
If you really want this to go further, I'm afraid you have to take a chance and tell him. It's the only way you are ever going to know what cold have been. If he does become skiddish, then you'll know you need to move on. But you must take a chance
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