A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:A teacher this year, that taught me in a subject that wasn't my strongest, so I'd always coming for extra help after school, and naturally we got to know each other, but as the year came to an end, I started to realize that he was treating me different, I started to realize that sometimes he would flirt with me, but he really never did anything that made me feel weird or uncomfortable but after awhile, he started doing things, like making fun of little things I would do in class, or he would say, "I love you, I just want you to know that.", or you will always have a special place in my heart. and when he saw me before graduation, he told me I looked beautiful, and said that this year has been a year he won't forget, because he feels that he has become a better person, teacher, everything because I opened his eyes to giving people an opportunity to succeed.The year was full of moments like that. Now, I am starting to question how I feel about him, It's like he slowly seduced me all year? I just don't know if these "feelings" between us are real? I graduated so I am no longer a student at school and I just don't know why all of a sudden, I find myself feeling this way. Its like as long as I was a student at the same school that he was my teacher I would never have even looked at him like that, but now, Its like things have changed, and I don't know what to think about the situation. He never bluntly asked me out or anything, but he did say at the end of the year that he did like me, and he hoped that any guy who dates me realizes how lucky they are. I will be 19 next February, and he will be 25 this August. I know all of this must sound pretty stupid, but I just wanted to see what others thought, because sometimes people get caught up and don't see things clearly, and I am starting to wonder if this is just my mind playing tricks on me, or if maybe something is there. I do know that teacher/Student relationships are usually frowned upon, so thats why I felt so unclear as to what I should do next. Do I test the waters with him, or just forget him all together? Its sort of like, my heart tells me one thing, but the reality of the way people think makes me feel like I have to think otherwise.
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crush, flirt, my teacher Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (4 July 2008):
 I think you should keep in touch emailing, and then if you still are romantically interested, maybe ask him in a few months if he wants to meet for lunch one day to talk face-to-face.
Is he seeing someone? If he is, you shouldn't try to ask him out, but just keep it as friends until they split up. If he's not, then I'd say keep his interest until the teacher-student boundaries are far away and forgotten. I think it's best if you wait until September/October at the earliest to try to start something up. If you all could email, though, keeping in touch would be very helpful to your cause.
Also, if you give yourself some distance from him and just get to know him better, you can find out your real feelings for him more. You sound kind of confused at the moment, so I think you just need time to sort things out in your head....
...Hope that wasn't a total waste to read. Best of luck!
A
male
reader, ChiRaven + ♥, writes (4 July 2008):
 As a teacher myself (although at the college level) I'd suggest that you give it some time ... at least a year ... before making any overt moves to get together with this man. After a year has passed, with you going about your life after school (college or whatever you have planned), if you still have feelings for him, try to find some way to reconnect with him socially OUTSIDE of school and see if the attraction is mutual. If it is, then there would be nothing wrong with your pursuing a relationship.
But it is REALLY important that there be that clear break between you as his student and you as a prospective partner. There has to be a separation in time, and the connection between the two of you has to be social and not associated with your student-teacher relationship. You can't just go back and meet him at school. It has to be some other venue, some other occasion, to maintain a sense of propriety.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Well, first of all, the age difference is really not much, compared to when I was in school. He is a young man...you are a young woman...women are usually more mature than men. Would you typically think of dating someone his age? I think he is interested in you but being a teacher he has a moral obligation to know his limits with students. It is wrong to date a student! We all know that; he is mature to not let things go any farther than a little flirting, but he could have gotten in trouble if you did not feel something towards him & reported him.
Now, you are out of school...enjoy your summer, meet other young men, see how it goes, you might meet someone you have more in common with & forget about him. If you can not stop thinking about him, ask yourself why you are attracted to him. Is it just because of the attention/flattery he gave you? Is there really anything to build a relationship on? Or do you just want to "get" with him? How would you go about getting in touch with him again? If you did date, would it have to be kept a secret? due to the fact that you WERE his student? Think about these questions before you do anything...it is really more HIS future career you have to consider, even if he doesn't.
Personally, I think it's not a good idea. I hope you can think about these things & make a decision you are comfortable with. Good Luck, sorry if I was of no help.
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