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I think I'm sexually attracted to my best friend's wife!!

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Friends, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 June 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, *ista_ecks writes:

I think I'm sexually attracted to my best friend's wife

I've known them both since we all were in high school, and I never thought of her like that until about a year ago. Since we all are close friends, I will not act on those impulses... none the less, I'm constantly having sexual dreams about her and I constantly find myself fantasizing about her.

Is this normal?

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A male reader, Ray's Forum United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2008):

I believe this to be a fairly natural desire. I think what you must do is realise that it is simply a fantasy and keep it at that. I have crushes on my friend's wives and girlfriends. In fact, a few of my friends discuss other friends wives. I am sure this works both ways as I know of wives girl friends fancying their partners.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007):

Um, yeah I don't see why it wouldn't be normal. She's a woman. Sometimes people do stuff, or almost like fate putting it in your path, that they happen to be wearing a perfume or said something or wore something that makes us notice them for the very first time ever.

It's like you say how come you never noticed her before till now? You know, it's like fate is testing you.

But you could be going through something of your own right now that maybe makes you envy your friends life and makes you want his wife just because things aren't going so well in your life. That could be why you noticed her all of a sudden.

So just keep in mind that this is a feeling that may eventually pass as your own life starts to improve. And if its not that, then maybe it is a test of your loyalty to your friend. I mean they are married and well I guess you gotta let them be.

There is a song by The Rolling Stones that goes: "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need."

I think this was put in your path as a test that may even lead you to bigger and better things. Just keep being a good friend and hang in there. Cause you can't always get what you want but in the end you will always get what you need.

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (23 August 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntYes, You are normal to have emotions. If you act out on those emotions, that is what is unacceptable socially. It has been unacceptable to "F--K" another man's wife for a long time. Henry the 8th had his wife Katherine and her lover beheaded for that very thing. Jesus talked about adultery too. Imagine for a moment how you would feel in your heart if you acted out on your emotional impulse. If you have a conscience you know you wouldn't like yourself in the morning, not to mention what would happen if she rejected you. There are consequences for our actions. You are normal! The question is, "are you a cave man?"

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