A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently had a surgical abortion at 9 1/2 weeks. That is, i was put under general anesthetic and the pregnancy was sucked out :( My boyfriend has been really suppotive and so have all my friends so I've been trying to put on a brave face but it's getting harder to keep up appearances. In know this isn't really a love problem but i need help. I'm just worried that I'm going to start spiralling or/and resenting my boyfriend for what happened even though it was a joint decision and it was what was best for both of us. I just don't know how to be ok with this. it's eating me up inside but im too scared to show this to anyone. Please help me! x
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female
reader, supermum +, writes (13 January 2010):
 CaringGuy is right, counselling is the best way to go. Also, i have had an abortion, so feel free to pricate message me if you ever feel like you need support.
You are grieving a loss, so you are going to be all over the place, but you should not feel guilty, as hard as it is. You should think about your reasons for having the abortion, i am sure it was the right choice for you.
You need to be able to express the way you are feeling to someone. Try speaking to your boyfriend if you can. xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): you should not be ashamed of feeling this way and getting some help with this would help a lot .dont go through this alone thats the most important thing and it will get better if you help yourself. xsophsx
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (13 January 2010):
 sigh... sorry babes.. sorry your feeling like this...You could try reading some books on other women who have suffered this way. Abortions are always hard for everyone, but it will get better eventually. Contact your local family planning clinic, or church, and see if they have any support groups that will help you. There are other women who feel like you, and it's them you need to talk to, to cry with, you need to be with people who understand how you feel. In the meantime, I suggest you start a "forgiveness diary", write down your thought's there, how your feeling, your sadness, your pain, your anger, write down everything.. but always finnish by writing down something nice you noticed today. A bird, a person smiling, something funny on TV, something nice you done for yourself, something nice you done for someone else.... You both did what you had to do, and if the baby was here, maybe your anger and resentment would be placed on them, for ruining your life and making you old before your time. Time and fortune has plans for everyone, we don't know what, we just do the best we can.. who knows what the future will bring, your heart will heal eventually and wnen the time is ready, you will create another miracle.. my hearts goes out to you in your time of pain, but you will create miracles..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 January 2010):
You need to talk to your doctor about counselling. There are specialist counsellors who can help you, and I think if you're starting to feel this way, it's very important you get all your feelings out so you can understand them. All the best.
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