A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We were in an off and on relationship. He would always dump me because I'm bipolar and he couldn't handle it. I am seeing a therapist because of this. He knows, but thinks I am the right girl at the wrong time. He broke up with me over nothing and feels like this relationship is too damaged. When he broke up with me I cried and begged him back but he just got mad and went away. After that, we spoke and we decided to stay friends but I needed to give him space to recover because he is says he is hurting as well. He said if I ever need him, I can call him and that he is happy to have met a sweet person like me and he wants the friendship. He always emphasized on how much he loved and cared about me and is struggling with the breakup just as bad as I am. I did not persue him anymore.. I was just being friendly like a friend and pointed out that he still has my pictures up. But when I ask him if we will end up together in the future, he says he doesn't know, but deep in his heart he knows it's not likely? So I suddenly noticed that he has unfriended me on Facebook so was this all a lie? One thing I did, was liking a pic that he was tagged in but.. it's from our mutual friend? He seemed really fine the last time I spoke to him and he even started liking some models pic on instagram. I even pointed out he seems happier than before and to keep it up because he laughs more. He replied: I don't wanna seem depressed and I didn't say anything special. He seems to be very committed in this breakup and I feel like I've lost my best friend. Do I call him about the unfriending? Our mutual friend says that they had a conversation where he jokingly said that we would get back together and he replied with just dots ... And resumed the conversation. He could've just said no... I don't know what to think. I don't think he is completely over me, but he is shutting himself down and everything about me just annoys him while I did nothing wrong :( In our last phone call he said that I was the most beautiful, sweet and caring person he has ever met but he just can't handle the stress and it's putting him down so much he needs to breakup while he still has feelings for me. He said it would be easier if he just didn't care anymore. he says he learned a lot from me and know what he wants in his future girlfriend even though nobody will match my loyalty and caring. But he is willing to have a relationship with less stress but less sweet? is he thinking about another girl already? I feel like he is so far away from me, I know he is only doing things to keep himself occupied and focusing on the bad side of our relationship. But it wasn't all bad. I can confidently say that I made him feel very loved and he knows this. When we are good. We are in heaven. He smiles and sings all day and picks me up like in a Disney movie. But when bad, it's very bad. I am so afraid of losing the one person I've ever opened up to. He made me break down the wall and left me. I really thought he would be there for me as a friend. What should I do?
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, depressed, facebook, get back together, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Vianneeey  +, writes (18 September 2014):
He seems like he distance himself from you to help yourself getting over him. He doesn't want you to see him out, because you'll cry thinking he's having so much fun without you. He doesn't want to give you hope, but also he doesn't want to hurt you.Let me tell you, exes can be friends. Yes they can, but not right away.But you want him back, that's why you use the friends thing as an excuse to get him attached. I'm sorry, but you try to manipulate him and it went backfire.Sweetheart, relationship supposed to bring the best in you, not the stress in you. He might have made you feel very special, but did you bring the best in him or the stress in him? Relationship supposed to be mutual, not just benefit one party.My suggestion, get yourself off facebook for while. And stop talking about him to anybody, and ask your friends to stop talking about him to you.Ask yourself, do you love him? If you do, let him go. Let him be happy, with or without you. Work on yourself first. You need to focus on getting better, because if you don't, the next relationship you have will only end up the same way.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 September 2014):
 He wants a break up but is still confused. That's what a break up feels like. He knows he wants to end it for good but missing the good times and wondering if he's making a good decision. Like the heart and the head battling each other. Being your friend would just give you false hopes and prolong the agony. He's not unfriending you to hurt you or to let you know how annoying you are. He's protecting himself and you too, by not dragging it on. It's not a good idea to wait till all feelings are gone to break up. That might be forever. Perhaps he's the kind that only loses feelings when he forces himself not to care. His mutual friend is not being sensitive here and kind of making light of what you are experiencing. You may feel that this is the worst experience life can give you but hang on to it because a spiritual transformation is taking place. A heart only breaks to open up for deeper love later. Stop checking his social media and start your healing.
...............................
|
