A
female
age
30-35,
*halak
writes:Hi.. I am in a long-distance relationship with a guy for last 15 months. I have met him thrice and thought he is my soul-mate. But things have completely changed now. I really love him but I feel humiliated in this relation. He always criticises me. Whatever i do and whatever i say is wrong for him. He would tell me that i am a bad person and i can go to any extent to make myself happy. He would call me selfish. But he would sympathise with me at the same time that it doesnt matter how bad i am he will always love me. It irritates me a lot and i have started feeling bad for myself. I feel as if he has taken away my confidence and i am living at his mercy. I am good at studies but this relation is hampering it as well. I remain angry, irritated all the time and often get into clash with my family. The thing that is bothering me the most is that I was a hosteller and now I am living at home. No friends around me and there is no social circle. i stay alone and everyone goes out for their job. i keep thinking and negativity has cultivated inside me. i feel i am a parasite on him. he even slept with another girl and that relation continued for four months when i caught him. i forgave him because i am weak and i couldnot stop talking to him. i m trying hard to aviod him. i dont call him anymore. we conversate only through messages but somewhere this relation is killin me from inside . but i am scared to be alone thats why i am not able to leave him i feel so ashamed and i dont know how to regain my self-confidence. i feel depressed. i have been so badly hurt and betrayed that i cant even imagine of trusting anyone else. i have always wanted a bit of love and care , nothing else. please tell me what should i do because i really love him.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): I think this man is manipulative and devious. He is playing on your emotions. You need to go cold turkey. Honestly!!DO you have some freinds you could go and stay with? you could leave your cell phone at home and literraly, sweat it out. You will be fine in three to four weeks .. wel better than you are and moving on. Your obsession WILL FADE.. OR.... your other option is.. you stay in this for the next how many years? how does that sound? Not good a? xx
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 August 2012):
 if you ignore him he starts ruining his life...
why is what he does after you try to leave a relationship with him your problem... that's emotional blackmail.
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A
female
reader, jhalak +, writes (30 August 2012):
jhalak is verified as being by the original poster of the question thnx for the advice. i m trying hard to overcome this but he keeps showering me with so mch love and affection. he says watevr he did was the biggest mistake of his life and he wont ever cheat me again. i dont knw why i am so deeply attached. if i ignore him he starts ruining his life. i am so badly stuck. isnt there any way to bring him to the right track? he weeps for me like a child. i dont understand why he is acting on both sides. he pampers me like a kid but when i feel that i need him he will not even bother to listen to me. is there any way to mend this relation?
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A
male
reader, MajorDisplayerOfInternationalPlayerBehavior +, writes (29 August 2012):
 Okay, let me get this straight. He cheats on you, criticizes you, makes you feel weak and depressed. But you still remain with him? This is where we have to ask ourselves why we are allowing this to happen. Do we like pain? My best advice to you is to break up with him, and find someone who will be good to you. Before more time goes by, and before you get more emotionally attached. Remember, once a cheater, always a cheater. He will do it again. You should live your life for you, and work on yourself, instead of letting a cheater and loser control you.
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A
female
reader, supersofi  +, writes (29 August 2012):
 Find the courage within yourself to let go, this person is controlling you and your emotions even though he is so far away. If you let go you will be able to build a better life for yourself and in time find someone who will offer you real love and companionship.
Learn how to be good to yourself and to believe you are worth more than what you are going through. Tell yourself you deserve more than this person has to offer you each and every day and you will begin to believe it, and self belief will help you have the strength to move on with your life.
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A
male
reader, Agz  +, writes (29 August 2012):
He will do it for the rest of your life, thats if he doesn't change that immediately and aims keep cool for the future. What i mean is, if someone develops the habit of criticizing the other for no proper reason, they will do it for the sake of it. It will always break you. Criticism should be a contructive one to help the one s/he loves.Remember, you will be spending the rest of your life with this man.
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