A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:i'm a guy that likes to have fun. i'm young but i'm pretty mature for my age so i like to date older women for the experience. when i finally met this girl my own age i started to really like her because of her personality and she was beautiful but after I took her out on a date we came back to my place, we made out and had sex but she was so insecure it kinda put me off her. I was trying to get her to be confident but she kept on whining. this never happened with the other women i dated. i don't know if i should call her again, cause i really did dig her until she got all insecure in bed. and bed is very important to me. how can i get her to be confident? or should i just drop this chick?
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female
reader, Miss C  +, writes (28 March 2007):
 You have an appalling attitude towards this insecure girl. From your letter you said that "bed is very important to me" I think that if it's so important to you then your obviously not mature enough like you are so sure you are to date a woman. You must understand that many women have issues with how they look, their physique and how they are with other men. If you respect this woman you could accept these insecurities and try complimenting her instead of trying to bed her. No-one is asking you to carry on this relationship, besides I think it would be a benefit to both you and this woman you slept with if it finished because she doesn't deserve someone like you. But it’s just something you must learn that not all women ooze with confidence and you must grow to understand that. Every one has their insecurities, I'm sure you have some yourself.
A
female
reader, mum2be +, writes (28 March 2007):
Do you know that much about her? She may have been through some kind of trauma in her life that makes it hard for her to feel confident about her body. As well as this, she may fear pregnancy... i am 15, got too confident in the bedroom (Because of my fear of sex)and let people take advantage... you can see by my name, that it didn't work out fo me.
If you think you are mature, you are not.
Think about what you want from this girl... it sounds to me like sex plays way too big a part in your life...
try learning to trust her and giving her the confidence to feel great about herself around the house before you take her to bed again, ok?
all the best
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A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 i think you have got so much to do in life and dont put your feelings in you "THINK" sex comes after love and not because you liked her she is human not a car.good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): Mate, I say drop her. If you're rude enough to say you want to drop a chic, then you're obviously not ready to understand a woman and their feelings. You think your mature? No way!If you were mature you would understand that woman can find it hard to show off their body to men, they feel they have to have the perfect physique. No affence mate but your obviously really shallow if you are thinking about not calling a girl coz' she's insecure.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven + ♥, writes (25 March 2007):
 Look, man, the woman is young and not all that experienced. You need time and patience with her. If you're just out for a quick bang, you probably should move on. If you care at all about this woman, you have a unique opportunity to help her develop into the kind of mature, confident lover you want her to be. She's scared right now. YOU can be her teacher and guide. There is no better gift you can give a woman than to take her from where she is now to where she can be with your help. It's a little tough, when the pressure is on you to cut loose and get everything you can, but if you just take the time and help her along now, you'll soon have a lover that is 100% into you and probably more than willing to do anything to please you as well.Good luck.
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