A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I'm having a problem with whether to give my ex a second chance. We got into a relationship about a year ago around this time. We had a great 4 months, everything was going amazing. Then one day, out of no where, he breaks up with me, telling me that he's been thinking about his "ex" for about a month. I was crushed, and had no idea what went wrong. Convinced that I would never have a chance with him again, I got over him, or so I thought. Just recently he started talking to me again, telling me how much of a mistake it was to have left me. That he would never make that mistake again. After talking for a while I realized that I do miss him, but don't know if I can trust him not to break my heart again. How do I know the same thing won't happen again? I want to give him a second chance, but it is too soon for that? Should I give it more time? Did I mention he just broke up with his "ex" about a month ago. I'm really confused bout this and could use some advice. Please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): heyy. i had a very similar relationship other then that he was thinking about his ex. you see, what happened with mine was we were first loves and we had 4 months go amazing as well. then out of no where he breaks up with me. one reason is because he was at a different stage of life. i was willing to give my whole self and although he loved me back. he couldnt, so he broke up with me. a day later he cant take it and i was his first love to so i accpeted him back again. went about a month and broke up. we didnt talk. then he apologized 5 months later and we kissed and stuff then he totally stopped talking to me again. and just recently after about 8 months its been now we have been hanging out. along with many other things. one thing you have to realize is that yes, he may care about you a Lot, but if he just broke up with his girl recently, dont get back with him. make sure he really wants you. if he does he will wait and you guys can get to know eachother bettter. sorry that this is so long, but im having a little trouble knowing if i should trust my ex or not.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (7 August 2008):
 its one of two things he doesnt want to be alone since hes been tossed so he goes to the next person. although he could be honest about *making a mistake* we all make them its how we learn from them that counts! i see you have two choices tell him no and friends is the only thing on the table or / say yes and be prepared to take the beating if it goes wrong..i think some people deserve a second chance but sometimes logics comes into it. obviously since your having second thoughts is because you dont trust him fully and unless you do this could always be a problem leaving you feel insecure. best bet is to be friends and if you feel the same in a few months and he does too then go for it but i would give yourself some time before jumping in head first.. good luck aphex xx
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Sounds to me like he has a habit of going out with someone and then after breaking up with them wants them back i.e. his ex. Now you fall into that category it seems as though he is the one calling all the shots. Doesn't seem very fair on you does it.
I would not enter into a relationship again with him right now as I think it is a total rebound thing or maybe something that bolsters his ego. The fact that he can give you all the chat up lines and tell you how he misses you and it was all a mistake. Pity you can't talk to his ex about this as I am sure he has probably had a series of girlfriends and possibly has a pattern of this behaviour.
If perhaps in 3 months time he is still telling you the same thing then maybe you can think again but right now I do feel that you are still very raw and to get together with him again would not help you.
I think you need to remain single right now and enjoy life with your friends and no ties.
Don't let him put pressure on you and keep pulling at your heart strings, he hurt you before and that is someone you must not forget. I would not let someone have that chance again unless they proved themselves to me and I think that is how you need to let him know that in order to get you back he has to woe you but don't rush you as you are still getting over the pain he caused you.
Don't let him be the only man in your life if you are out with friends and someone talks to you then don't send him away with a flea in his ear but instead just be pleasant and you never know that guy could be someone who may not put you through what your ex has just done.
Keep your options open and be the one in control OK.
Wish you the best of luck and keep us posted eh!!
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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