A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for almost two years now. At the beginning of our marriage he was drunk all the time and very abusive, both physical and verbal. I promised to stand by his side through thick and thin, but lately I just feel like I can't take it anymore. He has been sober now for almost a year but the last 3 weeks he has gotten drunk one day out of each week, and acts just like he used to. I have told him numerous times that " If you do it again I'll leave" but I never do. But this time, it's different. I find myself thinking about someone else. I don't want him to touch me, kiss me, or anything. It takes everything I have to tell him I love him, I do care about him, but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. I just don't know where to go from here? Any thoughts?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 May 2011):
 Do you belong to AlAnon?
I would suggest you contact them for a starting point towards support in dealing with an alcoholic spouse.
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (9 May 2011):
 You could try for counseling, either for himself of for both of you as a couple. There's got to be a reason as to why he's drinking, something that he's not telling you.If he flat out refuses, then you'll know that he doesn't care for you or your marriage and if it were me, I would then leave.Even though you married in sickness and in health, that should not come at a cost to your physical and emotional well being (especially him being the one inflicting this upon you).
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 May 2011):
 From here you can only go to divorce court. Your marriage was killed the first time he raised hands on you.
Sure, when you get married you give your word to stay for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, etc.etc.
And I suppose that if you are a very religious person, you have no other option than to stay, because you have promised it to your God, no matter what.
But if there are no religious interdictions, keeping this promise is just insane. You can't feel morally obliged to perpetuate a situation where your physical safety ,maybe even your life, are at risk every moment. Not to mention your dignity as a humen being.
Whether you have someone else in mind or not, you cannot stay with someone who is physically abusive.
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