A
female
age
30-35,
*uubly100
writes:Ok so here's my problem; Basically I think I may be in love with one of my best friends. He's a really lovely guy, hence we are great friends, but there's always been just a little something inside of me that wants more. I told him that I thought I liked him last year on a drunken night out, but I accepted that he didn't feel the same. We managed to continue our friendship regardless, because,like I said, he is just too lovely to make it awkward or be wierd about it.Even though it's been ages since I suggested that I liked him, the feeling just hasn't gone away, and if anything it's got even worse.So.I was wondering if anyone knew any ways to get over guys as I really cannot stand this anymore. It's really upsetting me, but I don't want him to know that I've fallen for him again, as I know that a second time round will upset him too.Any advice would be appreciated xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (22 January 2012):
 Having a best friend of the opposite sex- or someone you're attracted to can sometimes complicate things. But if you're developing feelings for him and the feeling is not mutual, then you have to remind yourself that he doesn't feel the same way. And if you truly do value the friendship that you have with him, that should be enough for you not to attempt to push for anything more with him.
Letting him know again how you feel can cause him to spend less time with you, communicate with you less, and create an awkward vibe if/when you two decide to hang out. So work on meeting guys that are going to share the same feelings and thoughts about you.
A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (22 January 2012):
You have been around him so long and your feelings have only grown.
You need to broach the subject again with him, verbally or by making your move.
If its by making your move, you can always do it subtly through touch.
Bottom line: you already know that either you have to be with him romantically or being just friends with him will drive you crazy!
He may not have taken you seriously that one time because you were drunk and did not want to take advantage of you.
In situations where I had feelings for a close friend, the only thing I have found is that I either a) became romantic or b) never saw them again.
I am sorry to have to put this so bluntly, but you are already hurting so much and I know just how you feel, believe me.
The "just friends" part is over for you. You will go insane continuing. Right now you essentially have a boyfriend that never kisses you, never has sex with you, and that you can't break up with.
Share your feelings and if he does not feel the same then it would be wise to end the friendship. If he is really your friend, he will understand that this is torture for you.
I had a close female friend I was in love with secretly. It was so intense, I even dated someone for a few weeks and not even THAT got me over her, as I was still in touch. I finally "confessed" to this close woman friend and she even asked me if I felt comfortable continuing on as just being friends. I mistakenly thought I could, but a month passed of my not getting any better, and I had to end my friendship with her. After several days of pain I then experienced a relief beyond measure.
Your mental well-being is the most important thing. Without it, you are no good to yourself or anyone else, and that includes your friend.
Please feel free to write me personally on what happens, even if you don't take my suggestion.
I really really do understand, trust me.
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