A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi There, I guess what I am about to ask you for advice on - most people already have.... BUT I seriously dont know what to do....I met this guy 2 years ago...we get a long and when we first met each other we said would see 'how things go'.... that was 2 years ago... I dont know where I stand.I have not been with anyone since I met him, when we see each other (which is every month) we don't go out or anything we just 'chill' in a hotel room.... i dont mind as i like spending time with him.... but surely he should have said something by now? i try to be laidback and 'perfect' so that he knows that i am there for him no matter what - which i am.I want to have the 'chat' and ask him if he see's us being together long term but I am scared of what he is going to say....i dont want to lose him but i can't go on like this anymore.I'm just so confused.... i just think why would he keep seeing me if he didnt have any feelings for me? but then again i am not his 'girlfriend'. Any advice on what to do and how to have the chat. I am between 28 and 30 and he is the same.... i'm at a point now where i just need to know whats going on rather than wait in limbo help please xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 You've got to sit him down and talk about it. Right now it seems like a friends with benefits situation and he's comfortable with it at that level. Tell him that you have developed feelings for him and you'd like to step up what you have to a relationship, and see how he reacts to that.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): This sounds very suspicious seeing each other for 2 years but resorting to hotel rooms. Is he married? Is he living with someone? This sounds more like arranged sex because it doesn't take two years for someone to figure out if they want someone as a girlfriend or not. He would have done something about it already and I have a feeling he has something permanent with someone else and you are just something on the side he'll keep up as long as you let him.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (23 June 2009):
 to be honest he doesnt sound serious about you... it just seems to be a physical thing for him, and 2 years?! thats a long time to see where you stand!
i cant pin point exactly why he is with you, from what u have written it sounds like he is using you for physical only.
your not his gf like you say, he comes & goes, so its a pure physical thing.
you dont need to wait in limbo, you have an option to move on, and ask him where he see's the relationship going in another 2 years, if he's happy to carry on as it then...
LEAVE.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, xxbaybeegal +, writes (23 June 2009):
 Well even though im quite young to answer this, i think you should have that 'chat' because it's already been 2 years and you haven't even reached girlfriend status. You can't be kept waiting for too long, because you don't know what this situation with you and the guy is. If he's not ready for a long term relationship then it's time to move on
Good Luck xx
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