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I need to come out to my parents before my GF's stepmom outs me!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 January 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 20 January 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I need some major help.

On Friday my girlfriend and I will celebrate our one month anniversary. My parents have no clue I'm dating a girl or that I'm bisexual.

My girlfriend's stepmom is a pain and treats her horribly. She punishes my gf constantly when she does nothing wrong and walks all over her because she knows my gf won't fight back for the sake of our relationship.

Last night I asked my gf if she wanted to go to a britney spears concert and her stepmom blew up. She then threatened she would out me to my parents. She said that she will out me before my gf even dreams of the concert. This is a threat that we both know she will follow through with as she told my gf earlier this month that she ran off all my gfs sister's boyfriends and will do the same to me.

I do not want her to out me. That is one of the most horrible things a person can do. I'm on a time limit to come out because she plans on doing it soon. I don't want her to beat me to my parents. How can I come out in a way that's low key? I need to do it like.... Today. I just don't know what to say or do. I need help coming out. Please please help.

I want to stay with my gf so badly and want to be the one to say who I really am. I don't want her stepmom to rule us anymore

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A female reader, JHi United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2009):

JHi agony auntThis is something I know all about, as I personally am gay, and my parents aren't very accepting of gays. Are your parents?

The best thing to do is to not think of it as having to stand up in front of your parents and just announce it, because it's not like that at all. Try to talk to one of your parents, whichever one you feel closest to or whichever one will be most accepting and understanding. Don't just come out with it, say you need to talk to them and perhaps go to somewhere quiet away from any possible noise or distractions. The fact is, you don't need to say "I'm bi, and I have a girlfriend" just kind of say that you've been thinking a lot about your sexuality lately, you can even be a bit vague. If you want, take it in stages, at first say that you've been thinking about new things, thinking about being bi. Then perhaps on a later night tackle the issue of tellign your mum/dad about your girlfriend. it's always better if you brake it down over a series of nights, one parent at a time. Then it will be a lot easier to do.

Hope I helped,


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