A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a need to always have attention from men. No matter what I am doing, or who I am with I feel like I must be the center of every man's attention in the room. It could be guys I know or complete strangers. I don't even care what they look like, as long as they are paying attention to me. I even seek attention from friends' guys, even though I wouldn't actually hook up with them. Also, I date several men at a time. I tell them things that I know they want to hear and make them fall for me, knowing that I don't really even care about them. As soon as they confirm their feelings for me, I dump them. I don't know why I do this. I have hurt several good guys, and it really does bother me, but the thought of trying to actually have a relationship with any of them makes me feel sick to my stomach. Why do I do this??? Do I get some sick pleasure out of it? I feel like I am a bad person, but I can't stop. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 while therapy would be good your insightfull understanding of your problems suggests you're closer to solving them than you think. your ex is probably a major problem as he knocked your trust in men. you need to overcome how he made you feel with postitive mental attitude. find something your good at as a hobby and do it then take that feeling of being worthy and hold inside and use it whenever you feel shit simply by remembering it and amplifying it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks all for the advice. To answer about my father, I did and do have a good relationship with him but not in the usual way a father daughter would. He has never been a role model for me, or a blueprint for what I think a man should be. He is more like a buddy who usually ends up out-partying me and my friends. My mother was not around until I was 16 and I was the youngest in the family so i do feel like I was kind of forgotten when I was learning how to form relationships with people, especially guys. The first guy I ever dated and lost my virginity to was a total ass and basically slept with every good friend I had at the time behind my back. I feel like he ruined me before I even really got started. I do feel like he could also be a big part of why I get off on hurting other guys so much, even though they don't deserve it. I suppose therapy would be the next step. I appreciate everyone's nonjudgmental answers.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (6 September 2010):
Darling
please go immediatly to therapest and seek help
because you arent ruining your life alone
as they are many lifes of many good men ruines rrouned you
and nothing hurts bad as a broken heart does,
especially if the man didnt do any thing wrong,
it seemed that your parents didnt give you the necassary love and attention during your early childhood years especially your father but we arent judging any one hear as much as we are trying to help..
All the best Darling and good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): First of all, you're NOT a bad person. This is a problem that you have, and you recognize it and you need to deal with it without being judgmental about yourself AT ALL.
You need to ask yourself some questions first, or probably follow up on your post to claify:
1.)What kind of a relationship do you share with your father? Do?did his actions with you or your mom hurt you at any point of time in your life?
2.)What were you like at school?As in, the popular girl, the geeky, studious kid or the chubby girl? the reason Im asking you to identify yourself with these stereotypes is because at some level, your behaviour now is a reflection of your past.
3.)What is your social circle like? Do you have girlfriends whom you are close to? Do you at some level look at men as someone who can cure you of boredom?
Trust me, there is nothing wrong with you. You're FINE. Just try and answer these questions so that you can get to the root of your problem.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (6 September 2010):
 Look up "Histrionic personality disorder". I have the same problem :)
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A
female
reader, Alvy  +, writes (6 September 2010):
No this doesn't make you a bad person at all.
I think this problem probably dates back to the relationship you had with your father, or the main father figure in your life, you are trying to gain acceptance from people who don't know you as person, and once they have confirmed their acceptance of you, you go on to the next one, it is instant gratification for something you feel you need, love and acceptance.
Maybe look back at past relationships to see where you may not have received the love and acceptance you desired, good luck and I hope you find out the reason because you have the answer.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (6 September 2010):
you have extremely low self esteem and as a result you try to build yourself up by valuing yourself in terms of the sexual desire of men. this is bad for you. when you only see yourself as a sex object you wont be able to accept real love from any man. this is a self destructive pattern and it happens because you dont have any real appreciation for yourself from the inside.
if the only feelings of value you have come from outside sources then you will always behave in ways that dont directly benefit you-you will simply behave in ways to crave more of this "outside value".
you need to work on why you have low self esteem and make a real effort to love yourself. only you can do this...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): Therapy is your only option here. You have a subconscious need to prove that you are worthy, and you need help overcoming that before you destroy all the innocent people that get in your path.
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