A
male
age
41-50,
Rob63
writes:I need some advice on getting over a relationship after my partner ended it suddenly by text. We went away for a few days over August Bank holiday and all seemed great. Her teenage kids from her defunct marriage got on with me as well. The first day I was back at work I got a text saying it was all over and for me to move my stuff out! We've only spoken in person once since then and it's all been by text or phone call (when she answers them!) All she says is "it's not you it's me" She's made it clear that there's no going back but I suspect her ex as having a hand in it. How on earth can I get over this and move on? I would have given up everything for her and we never had an argument in the 5 months we were together!
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at work, her ex, move on, text Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (24 September 2007):
 Hi Rob,
One sign of depression is losing interest in things that we used to enjoy. It sounds like you cared for this woman deeply. How are your friends reacting? I mean, are they concerned that you are 'not yourself'? If so, perhaps you should see a counselor. If you are pretty much yourself, except for temporarily losing interest in some hobbies, than continue to just take it one day at a time. I am sorry that you're hurting like this ... broken hearts hurt a lot, so pamper yourself a bit ... be your own best friend. I hope that you feel the pain diminishing sooner than you believe possible.
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (22 September 2007):
 what a cowardly and dispicable way to end a relationship (my ex, suprisingly of 5 months also, did the exact same to me!)
but after alot of thinking, i decided that sometimes when you care about somebody but not as much as they do you, you find it difficult to end it even though you know you are doing the right thing, because to continue a relationship on for the sake of not wanting to upset someone is unfair on everyone involved.
you need to try and put this person behind you and move on. she was probably feeling upset and uncomfortable with this relationship for a while but didn't know how to tell you. you need to realise that constantly phoning and bombarding her with texts, won't change the way she feels.
good luck, and all the best
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A
male
reader, Rob63 +, writes (22 September 2007):
Rob63 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks baby duck for your advice. I'm trying to stop looking for a logical explanation as that's just making me worse. I really do want to move on but one of the things that's worrying me is I can't get back into my hobbies and they meant so much to me before. It's almost as if the lack of a relationship is all that matters and everything else is just too "sad". Is this fairly normal? This is the only long-term relationship I've had fail in this way and my reaction does worry me a bit. Thanks once again.
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A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (22 September 2007):
Keep yourself busy with supportive friends, fun activities, and learning something new because only time is going to get you through this. Our emotions are irrational, so trying to solve this problem with a logical solution is not possible ... the old apples 'n' oranges conundrum. You know that whatever reason(s) she has for cruelly breaking up via text message is not good enough, so this may be a blessing in disguise. Do not berate yourself for being emotionally connected. Give yourself time to learn about yourself and heal so you can let go of the pain. All of this was to prepare you for someone worthy of your affection.
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