A
male
age
30-35,
*ini
writes:There's a girl who works out the same gym I do, and we were flirting visually (or at least I believe we were flirting as we often had eye contact), never mind it, one day as I was leaving the gym and she was arriving ,we usually work out at the same time, well, When I arrive she's usually already there), but this day she probably got late or anything and we passed by each other as I was leaving the gym and she was arriving, I didn't have the intention to talk to her (as I'm a bit shy) but she complimented me with a "hi" and a smile, I replied her back with a "hi" and moved on.I did not know her name or anything else, this was our first contact. I got happy cause at least she had noticed me (or in my hopeful mind, she was giving me a sign), anyway, for over a week I hadn't seen her in the gym... When I saw her again, I spoke to her when she was finishing one of her routines and asked why she wasn't going to the gym lately, she said she wasn't going cause she was lazy due to the cold weather (we're in Fall/Winter in my country - but I live in Brazil, so cold weather here is not really cold as we live in Summer practically the whole year, anyway...), I said I "missed" seeing her around and asked for her name (Finally got to know her name at least) and that was pretty much the contact we had. Well, I noticed that, when she left the gym (as she did earlier than I), she didn't pass by me to say "bye", "see you" or anything of that kind, she just left and now I'm considering she doesn't give a damn about me or something along those lines...Anyway, I'm feeling my approach to her may have been a little aggressive? I'm considering that most people go to the gym to get their work out routines done and leave, as they also may not be in a comfortable position to "pick up" anyone (sometimes they're sweating and all)...Either way, I'm not here to ask you if you think she's into me or just being nice - well, you can try to answer it and I'll appreciate your opinion - I'm trying to get an opinion on the way I came to talk to her, if it was intrusive or aggressive or anything of that sort...Also, the next time we see each other, should I just get to her and ask if she would go out with me? Or if we could have a walk together or even take her home after the work out?? Or maybe try to exchange our internet social profiles, messenger IDs or phone numbers? Cause I know virtually nothing about her... (Well, nothing except of her name) and I want her SO BAD!!!Thanks in advance for your help!!
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 hi Vini, follow ups are lovely, and very appreciated, thank you, regards, Abella
A
male
reader, Vini +, writes (16 July 2011):
Vini is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKinda of a late reply, but I had read what you wrote when you did so and forgot to come in to say thanks for the help you had given me. Guess I misinterpreted her signs, they weren't signs actually...
Anyway, It seems there's another gym-girl who has a crush on me, I just feel I'm so irresistible when I'm sweaty with my muscle bulging, LOL, Just kidding! Thanks for your advices!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 June 2011):
Hi Vini,
I am sorry it did not work out. But there are millions of lovely women out there and one of them will grow to adore you and you her. So patience.
Best wishes
Abella
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A
male
reader, Vini +, writes (27 June 2011):
Vini is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo... She's in a relationship...I guess it's time to move on with it... Unfortunately, Let it go!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (24 June 2011):
hi, she may be on vacation. She may been shifting house, she may be assisting someone at home who is ill, she may have been sent on an assignment or had a heavier load of work.
There may be other reasons, but her absense is about her priorities.
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A
male
reader, Vini +, writes (24 June 2011):
Vini is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI haven't seen her at the gym this whole week and it left me with a question:
1 - She's changed her schedule, so she works out another time of the day, because she doesn't want to talk/see me.
2 - She's changed her schedule for any other reason.
I'd not consider her not going to gym cause she is feeling lazy, because If she was interested (I still believe she is -- I need to build my confidence), she probably would continue to show up so I would talk to her.
Either way, what do you think?
If I don't see her again next week I might start showing up at the gym at different hours (I'll be on a break for next month so it won't be that hard)...
Opinions??
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 June 2011):
I like your sense of humor. (about the business card) That great sense of humor will stand you in good stead with any girl.
Sorry for me assuming re a business card - they are so useful and unobtrusive.
I think you are well on track with this girl. The only road-block will be if she is already in a relationship.
Many girls like having the number for the guy, it gives them the chance to phone if and when they are interested, instead od waiting, waiting for the guy to phone.
But in this instance I have no doubt that you will phone, if you do get her number.
Can I also suggest that quirky first date destinations are often more memorable than a conventional dinner at a restaurant. But once again I have confidence you will handle that well too.
Good Luck with this Potential Love Story unfolding.
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A
male
reader, Vini +, writes (20 June 2011):
Vini is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo, Abella, Will I have to make a card just to give her? LOL
Well, I think the "introduce yourself" part was already done, I have told her my name when I asked hers...
Anyway, I usually don't take my phone to the gym (as there won't be a place to put it on, since I don't go with backpacks) but I might have to start taking it so I might try to get her number? I mean, I think it would be a bit intrusive to come and say, "Would like to have my number", than "We could go out someday, Can you give me your number?"
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 June 2011):
i don't think your approach was wrong at all. Guys approach girls like this in the gym all the time. And sometimes it's well received - It's when one sees them lingering longer at the drink fountain, or making a b-line for side by side treadmills. Where they are clearly comfortable sharing more of their shared interests together.
One sees the same people all the time at the gym obviously interested. But if one or both of the persons are already in their own relationships, then one will just see polite conversation, but it (usually) goes no further.
If the girl is unattached, and interested, that's when she will linger longer. It's not foolproof but girls often go to the gym just before work/on the way to work. Girls in a relationship are more rarely at a
late night gym after 8.30pm.
But single girls can be there at those or any other time because they don't have family to consider.
Try one more approach by introducing her to who you are, hold out your hand, shake her hand, and tell her your name. And say, 'hi Mary, I'd like to give you my card' Give her your card with your name and telephone number on it. That's upfront and an honorable man lets the woman have his number, so then it's up to her. Then look her in the eye and tell her, 'where's you fave coffee place? I'd like To meet you for coffee.'
If she never calls she is not interested. Or there and then she may tell you she is IN a relationship then you will know she's unavailable.
It's not too pushy. If she is interested, single and available she will respond to your approach.
Good Luck
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