A
female
age
30-35,
*crv
writes:Ok.. So theres this boy, he is 22 and i am 19. We have known each other for about 2 yrs now. I need advice, he is soo confusing. We have been on and off for those 2 yrs. He has told me he really likes me and i have told him too. Once we had like 5 months without talking and then we starting talking again and going out. And we were hanging out at his place and we started messing around. We start to get more into it and all of a sudden he tells me he loves me! I was shocked and didnt tell him anything. I mean, why would he say that if he is already getting sex? And i cant believe he actually loves me because he cancels plans and sometimes doesnt call or text me back. Or he wont call for days until i call him. Then saturday i asked if he wanted to hang out and he wat did i wanna do and i said i dont care i just wanna see u. Well he never txt back! I dont know how u can like some one so much and not want to spend time wit them. Why does he act so nice and lubby dubby and then completely ignore me? I really need advice..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (8 December 2008):
 No matter how old a boy or man is, there is really no way for a woman to ever understand them! Men can think they love you and treat you like the best thing that ever happened to them and out of the blue, they are gone. Also, there is no way to predict happily ever after with any man. Life isn't fair when it comes to matters of the heart!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Pay attention to action, not words. His actions say he is not that much into you. It is nice to "mess around" every once in a while, find you when he wants, you, et cetera, but he isn't thinking of a traditional relationship with you. He comes to you only when he needs you. "Need" as in "I need some kisses now".
I suggest you ask him what he really wants. If he doesn't give you a clear answer, then you will know I'm right.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2008):
 He hasn't grown up yet, and he lacks empathy for you. He simply doesn't realize the impact his behavior is having on you. My guess is also that he hasn't much of a clue what he wants, oher than perhaps some no-strings sex from time to time, so be very careful with your heart in dealing with him. It may be that he was feeling something very strong, which he perceived as love, but that obviously doesn't translate to commitment or being reliable for you. Just because a guy says he loves you, doesn't mean that he's planning a future with you. It's the actions you need to be paying attention to with him, not his words. His actions tell you where you stand in his world.
Take care of yourself.
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