A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my bf after i found out that he was flirting wid another girl online and it was the second time around - i found him flirting wid the girl, that i decided to end it.A few months later he contacted me and he was really nice. And he was repentant and caring.when we had been together we always fought and he would never show his feelings for me. yes we were attracted to each other - but at the end of the day we would still be fighting.so now when he started showing his regret as to how he had been before, i thot maybe he had changed. yea.. then i find out after we had broken up in those few months before he called me, he had been dating the other girl.yea i got a little mad, more so cos i had asked him if he had dated anyone in between and he had said no.he told he was sorry, that he knew i wouldnt talk to him if i'd found out he'd dated her. so he had not told me.but what hurt the most was wen he said he was sorry to the both of us.at that moment i realised he saw us with the same eyes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thnx for replying. the thing is, i feel like some of it was my fault. my ex isn't doing anything. he stopped studying few yrs ago. his family runs a small bussiness so i think thats wat he wants to do. but he is interested in music and wants to do sound engineering, so i would often be very vocal about it. i would always tell him to go to study or get a job, but honestly it was becos i thot he had potential.at the same time i was in contact wid my then ex, S. He had helped me a lot when i was mildly depressed - so i had respect for him. i didn't tell my current ex, about S. infact i told him we were just frns. later when he found out, after it slipped from my tongue, he went beserk.i didnt tell- cos S had contacted me after a year and i didnt think it important enough to dig the past.. and even though we had broken up, S had helped me through tough times so i didnt think i wanted to talk bout him.. talking bout an ex to a current also seemed like a bad idea.anyways i feel i pushed him away with this.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 July 2012):
 Closure it's such an elusive beast. And honestly, you rarely get true closure from a former partner.
You want him to explain his actions perhaps? He can't, you will most likely get a "I don't know" or I was scared YOU would be mad at me.. putting the blame on you.
Honestly, the best thing you can do it let it go, let him go. Look back at the relationship and realize that YOU didn't make him flirt with other girls and you DIDN'T lie.
Move on, live life, don't get stuck in the past.
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