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I need advice on breaking up with my violent boyfriend

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 May 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years, of which we've lived together for 2. He's always been an "angry drunk", and last night he crossed the line.

The beginning of the relationship, he would be angry, but direct it towards other people, trying to start fights in bars, etc. Why I didn't break up with him then is beyond me.

Now it's progressed towards me and my friends. When he is out with me and/or with me and my friends he gets argumentative, yelling, throwing stuff, etc. It's gotten to the point that none of my friends even want to be around him.

Last night was the last straw. We were at a neighbors house, and he started an argument with a friend of mine. I left, and went home hoping he would follow and not cause a scene in front of everyone.

He came home, and started screaming at me, ripped a hole in my shirt, punched the microwave, took some potted plants, threw the dirt all over the kitchen and on me, stomped on a ketchup bottle, squirting ketchup all over the kitchen, broke the trash can, stomped my cats waterbowl into pieces, punched a hole in the wall, punched the CD player into pieces, smashed a picture frame, threw various objects, ripped his own shirt and hit me in the face with it, etc.

His response to this was that "I was nagging him too much, and he needed to do this because this is the only way he could get me to pay attention to him."

My name is the only name on the lease, so I can have him forcibly removed if necessary. I want to avoid conflict and just have him move out peacefully and not destroy the whole house in the process.

View related questions: drunk, player, squirt, violent

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A female reader, louise100 United Kingdom +, writes (6 May 2009):

I agree. You must get rid of him now. Its only a matter of time before he hits you, men like this always start in a small way and it gets worse and worse.

Go to the police and get a court injunction keeping him away from the house. It may not be easy to get rid of him but it will be worth it in the end.

Dont be quiet about this tell your family and friends and get the support you need from them.

By the way - he will tell you that he will change - trust me - from experience I can tell you he wont.

Tell the police and your family and friends now.

Take care honey x

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A female reader, OhMeSoHorny United States +, writes (6 May 2009):

Does he have Life Insurance? If he doesnt I think you should sign him up for some that way next time your defending yourself when you maim him you will have a start to a great new life!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009):

Go to the police, get him forcibly ejected and take out a court injunction banning him from coming within 500 yards of your hose at the same time.

I don't think there's going to be any easy way to do this - he seems to be just that little bit too violent. if he destroys stuff, get him arrested for criminal damage too - then he'll have to pay for it.

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A female reader, oneandonly?  +, writes (6 May 2009):

Don't do it while he drunk, but make sure you tell him this is why your doing it, and have 911 on speed dail and get a restraining order against that ass, he seems dangrous

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