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I need advice! My baby daddy impregnated another woman and I don't know where to go from here

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 October 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 12 October 2015)
A female South Africa age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My bby daddy has impregnanted another woman....i hv been away frm him for 9months and the girl is 5 months pregnant....i didnt want to forgive him bt i did even thou the other part of me is still hurt and confused....he took a leave frm work to come and tell me personally and ask for forgiveness......they are not dating(he says)....i am confused guyz plz help....i need your advice plz

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntHe is NOT such a good man, if he hides the fact that he is with you and has a child, JUST so he can get laid.

He isn't married to you, there is no real commitment. You share a child whom YOU do 100% of the raising/parenting. He on the other hand is having sex with whomever tickles his fancy.

I hope if nothing else, that you are SMART enough to go get yourself tested, HIV, STD's all of them, because you have NO idea who he has been sleeping with but you DO know... that he has had unprotected sex with at LEAST one other woman.

As far as he goes, IS he really the man you see yourself with? In 1 year? In 5? A man who likes to play family with you when it's convenient and who likes to be single the rest of the time.

I don't really see him as being a very good guy, at least not to you and certainly not as a role-model for your child.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (11 October 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYOU are being UBEr-STUPID... and you will have to endure the results of your stupidity....

Good luck... nonetheless....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He says it's water under bridge he promise that there will be nothing between him and the other baby's mother and he even say that i let the evil spirit come between us when i want to end things with him...i am 22 yrs and he is 26 and our baby is 5 yrs......he is such a good man bt when it comes to woman he is a womeniser and people that he dates agree to be hiden from me.....they always agree to be his mistress....he tellz them that he haz a baby mom and they understand.....i really love him,,,,,how can i forget about him please help,,,,,, i sometimes think of drinking alcohol to disstress even thou i never drank before....please guys help me i am losing it now!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with looking to get child maintenance/child support from this guy and do it asap. You child might need it.

You call him "baby daddy" not BF, so I will presume that you are not a couple and that this guy seem to have a habit of knocking up girls with no real commitment. That doesn't exactly make him a Keeper, does it?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (5 October 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHe is the father of your child.

he should be paying child support (if he is not or he's sporadic about it get a court order and garnishment)

other than being responsible to the child you share what is it you want from him?

what are you forgiving him for?

are you two a couple? if you are not a couple then he owes you nothing. He only owes his child...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2015):

They are not dating darling because they are probably living together and somehow when he asjed for forgiveness you got hold of the wrong end of the stick and thought he'dfinished with her.He hasnt and he was just lefting you know that your little one is going to soon have a little brother or sister by a different mother and he is hoping that in tbe future you will allow him to havehis child over to stay so that the two little uns can play together because they should be closer than cousins seeing as they share the same grandmother and father.Moreover he hopes that in the future

you and his new lady can be friends and associate together without embarrassing him or each other.He wants no scenes,tantrums ir arguements and preferably no intimage discussion about how long he lasts in bed ,whatyou think of his balls or the size of his manhood.If you took him back intk your warm and cozy bed he obvviouslyhas someexplaining to do to his other woman who will have been u der the impression it was all over long ago and he just came to visit the child and to tell you the goodnews that there was another little one on the way without you having to be pregnant.Alzo that should mean a bigger party at xmas, more birthday cards flying round and maybe even you would have a few cast off babyclothes to donate from yourself.Yourbestbet is to think aboutyour own life and keep yourchild as a priority inhis by seeing a solicitor and getting attachmentto earnings takencrom yourbabydaddies pay check as soon as possible as he clearly forgets to tell you the real facts and obviously usex a turkey baster and a sperm donor to get this womam pregnant.NOT!He did it the usual way including full courtship and promises and orgasms.Dont be hurt..just be smart..your solicitor and legal advice is your new best friend.Get in early because daddy is not the type to keep his dick inhis oants for long and there will be another one on the way soon! And dont feel sad or lonely be use from the minute you take on the baby daddy scene with distance included thus is to be expected.You have your child. You are clearly sfill young and attractive.He is ckearly fertile.Planyourxmas now and keep your options open about meeting a new partner and take a pregnancy test to see if he caught you ata fertile time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2015):

If you forgive him, will you be able to trust him? He is now a father of two children with different mothers. Now she has as much to do with him as you do. He has to support both children.

Considering he is the father of your child, you have little choice but to forgive him; in order to maintain some order and civility in your child's life. That is, if he is taking financial responsibility and co-parenting your child.

You'd be better off if you didn't try to maintain a romantic connection; unless you are certain he will do everything he can to regain your trust. He isn't your husband, and you didn't call him a boyfriend. So I assume he has never established commitment to you.

Whatever he is, insist that he be a good father. That's the most important commitment he can make to both you and his child. Messing around with other women and getting them pregnant is a sure sign he's very irresponsible. I think all you really need from him is to be a good dad for your kid; and forget about trying to maintain any other kind of relationship.

He apparently doesn't use condoms; and could very easily bring home an incurable STD, not just bad news he impregnated someone else.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (4 October 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYour baby's "Daddy" apparently was never introduced to morality, responsibility and/or family.....

Decide if you're content to have ANYTHING TO DO with such a creature. If "yes," then proceed on with your's (and your chld's) life... always chasing after "Daddy" to exhibit some sensibility and responsibility.... Could go on forever. If "no," then tell him to stay away, starting now... and continuing on until you take your last breath....

Good luck...

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