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I moved to another city to be away from my ex and I found him here

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2018)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi There,

I broke up with my ex 2 months ago, It was a one and half year relationship, It was impossible to me to get better unless I move to another city, I hated the city that we were living in, I hated every single street in it, and everything was reminding me of him.

I moved to another city, 250 Km away, I started to look for a job here and 5 days ago I stared dating a new guy, who seems perfect and I enjoy every minute with him.

Dating a new guy and living in a new city made me feel much better, I felt that I moved on and I have a new and fresh start after I was living in the dark for the past few months.

But today I saw my ex in this city holding hands with another guy, he didnt see me as I was walking behind, at first I thought that it is someone look like him, then I knew that it was him.

I stopped walking and hided myself so in case he looks back.

I felt a sharp pain on my chest, my knees went weak, my arms went weak, my head became painful and the eyes poured down tears. my heart started to pump quickly.

What is he doing here? This is the first question came to my mind? I know its not my business and I cannot tell people where to live ! but why? I moved here to be away and he is here!! its a small town and I am sure that I will face him again.

Although I am enjoying dating the new guy but I felt that I need to move or disappear , I do not want to encounter my ex, I do not want to see him and I don`t want him to know anything about me.

If he really lives here I would move to another country, I just want to get him out of my thoughts and life.

How to deal with this situation. Any thoughts?

View related questions: broke up, my ex

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (9 June 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntFirst of all, don't panic and don't do anything rash. You don't know your ex is living anywhere nearby. He could have been visiting. If you keep seeing him, then you may need to rethink, but, for the time being, sit tight. You may never see him again.

Rather than running away all your life, could you find a way of coping with bumping into your past? If you like everything else about the new place you live, where you have a nice new boyfriend and, I presume, a new job, it would be a shame to give it all up and move again.

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A male reader, TylerSage United States + , writes (9 June 2018):

TylerSage agony auntHow do you know your ex lives there? Maybe it was just a coincidence and he was visiting the area. You're actually thinking moving again just because you saw him. You shouldn't allow others to have so much control over your actions. Responding the way you do shows that he still has power over you. Don't think about him and just move on with life. He has.

All the best.

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