A
female
age
30-35,
*ivejust2bJess
writes:I was in a relationship for over a year with a guy who I was deeply in love with. I knew he was the one for me and we talked about some day getting married and stuff like that. But jealously that was getting built up inside of me and I lied to him. For 6 months I made him and his family believe this lie until they found out the truth. I got into trouble (not legal trouble) from this, and even though he was hurt as bad as he was from me, he stayed with me. Until months later he decided to break it off and leave me in the dirt. Now a year and many guys later, I still find myself sitting on my couch typing this and wishing I had him back. I miss him like crazy and never stopped thinking about him til the day he walked away. I know I messed up and if I knew what came from my mistake, I would have never have done it. I want to talk to him, but I dont know what to say. It would have to be over the computer cuz i lost his number. I've dated other guys, but its not the same, I feel like im cheating on him even though we arent together anymore. I guess what I'm asking is, does anyone out there know what to say to someone in this type of dilmemma? *The reason why I dont mention what I lied about is so I dont get bashed as bad over the internet.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 April 2011):
It really does depend on the lie. You've not mentioned it because you're afraid of an internet bashing. That must mean that it's quite serious (cheating, faked pregnancy, faked family member death or something). In this situation, I'll be honest - you won't get him back. His pride will have been massively dented, and he and his family will have made many efforts to move on from what happened. What makes me even more sure he won't take you back is the way he dumped you. He didn't dump you in anger immediately after the lie was found out. He thought about it for some time and really made a decision to move on before dumping you. I'm sorry, but whatever the lie was, it caused him to move on. I don't think you'll get him back, and I think rather than put yourself through the humiliation of trying, you'd be best to continue to try and move on no matter how long that takes. He really thought about what had happened, and when he dumped you it was with a very clear mind.
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