A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So at the end of July I went through a breakup... The guy and I broke up because of the fact that we were going to different highschools... So this year I get my schedule and go to a school that I hardly know anyone in and am not very happy with classes or my schedule... I find myself missing him and middle school a lot because I was a lot happier then... The times I feel mostly upset and reminiscent is when on the rare occasions that him and I communicate (for a short period of time) he speaks of the new girls he likes and it still bothers me. I really need to get over him and try and move on but with how my cards fell this year, all of the improvement and progress I had made in the summer has now been reversed. Please help! Much love. -Shay
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 September 2015):
 Oh boy, I feel your pain. I went to 3 different high schools because my dad moved a lot for his career. My 9th grade boyfriend was pursued by someone I thought was a good friend after I moved! It was so annoying and back in those days, we didn't have any easy way to stay in touch beyond writing letters. Phone calls were really expensive, and especially international phone calls.
Shay, all I can say is that now, looking back on all of that, this unhappiness will pass. And if you allow this to affect your education, you will regret it. Boys have their place in your life but they should not be the center of it....
I know they are super interesting and compelling at this point in your life.
The sensible thing to do is to make the best of it. Do your best in your classes. Set yourself up so that you get to make the choices in your future and they are not made for you.
And learn what I learned. You make the best of what you have where you are. There was a saying on posters back in my day. "Bloom where you are planted."
I would skip trying to keep in contact with him if all he does is talk about new girls he's meeting.
I would instead choose to look around and find the other classmates who might be in my same shoes.
I used to sit in the hallway in 11th grade and eat my lunch there because I felt I knew no one and no one seemed to be making any effort to get to know me. I felt like the outsider and weird and self-conscious. I hated that grade.
What did I do to deal with it? I tried out for a sport I liked and made the team. I found friends in classes I did like.
You will get through this. You just need to find a way to make it work for you.
"Bloom where you are planted." :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2015): A new school year in a new school without all your friends and the people you know is scary and confusing. Some kids take it in stride, and some need time to adjust to their new surroundings.
It's time you separated from the boy and make new friends.
Learning to adapt to new surroundings and getting used to being around strangers is part of growing up. You miss him and it's understandable. It's time for a change. Time to concentrate on your studies and less on him. He's adjusting well, and you should try and do the same. Stop complaining.
You're going to talk yourself into bitterness; and that will make you seem like you've got a bad attitude all the time.
There's nothing wrong with school or your subjects. You don't want to grow-up. Time marches on, and you have to.
You should make the best of it, because it's going to be a long school year. So don't be a drama queen. Check out the new boys. Study and play hard! You'll be used to everything by Christmas break. Wait and see!
This is what growing up feels like, sweetheart.
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