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male
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anonymous
writes: I have a wife who has had cancer but it is now clear. She has a 40 to 60% chance of the cancer reappearing. I met the love of my life 1 month before the diagnosis. If I go I will feel very guilty, if I stay I will loose my dream relationship. Do I go or do I stay? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): Your dream will leave and it is what you can live with or what you can't live without
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2006): I agree with ariel - you need to give more information as there must be more to this than you say.
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A
female
reader, browneyes +, writes (7 October 2006):
mr... marraige is for life, in sickness and in health is that what you signed up for? suppose it was the other way round would you have liked it to happen that she met someone whilst married to you,and took off. remember the grass only looks greener on the other side the truth of the matter though,is that every time you get to the other side its only then that you see the truth,
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A
female
reader, CherryVanilli  +, writes (7 October 2006):
 The love of ur life uve only known 4 a month, but ur wife uve known 4 a life time I assume, so what if u leave ur sick wife 4 this new gurl & then find out that u dont really know her that well??
I think u should stay by ur wife's side, at least she was the love of ur life when u 1st married her, right?
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A
female
reader, CherryVanilli +, writes (6 October 2006):
The love of ur life uve only known 4 a month, but ur wife uve known 4 a life time I assume, so what if u leave ur sick wife 4 this new gurl & then find out that u dont really know her that well??
I think u should stay by ur wife's side, at least she was the love of ur life when u 1st married her, right?
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A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (6 October 2006):
 I think that you should leave her, you cannot stay with someone out of pity. A relationship should be happy not force.
I think that you should be honest with her, but promise to support her as a friend in the future. Please do not put this other woman in her face as this will be very hurtful. Just tell her that you have been feeling that your relationship has not been working for a while and that you have found someone else, but dont start saying she is the love of your life, because she will be hurting enough allready.
Make sure she has someone like a friend or family member that can keep an eye on her, and try and remain a friend so that you can help with her illness as much as possible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): This is the kind of stuff moral dilemmas or what we call grey areas are made of. If polygamy was an accepted social form I would have advised that. I can understand your guilt, I feel guilty even advising you since I feel that maybe you should leave but in the most sensitive way possible. Depends upon how much time your new love can give you but in your shoes I would prefer to let good time elapse before telling the spouse and letting her take the lead in letting you go. Best wishes to all three of you.
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A
female
reader, Katylouise +, writes (6 October 2006):
I think you should do what you feel but in my opinion you should stay and show this woman that a man with a heart full of caring love exists, if she dosent survive she will die happy with the man she loves by her side. Wouldnt you prefer to be known as the man who stayed till the very end or a coward that couldnt face a situation bravely.
good luck
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