A
male
age
26-29,
*eterfug
writes:hey. on the last week of my freshman high school year...this girl passes by me. we make eye contact but both of us look away. she waits until she is halfway down the hallway to say hey to me. this had me thinking for a while and i mention to one of my friends about it. she said i should try it out with the girl who said hey. i didnt know that the girl i was talking to was her best friend. so the next day, i get a letter from the girl who said hey (m.) and it said that she was flattered but we should stay friends. the next day, she gave me another note and ir said that she was starting to like me. while the week passed, she was really starting to like me. we exchanged emails and emailed all the time. after a few days, she came across as possessive and obsessive. that was a turn off for me so i handle the situation wrongly and stopped talking to her. As the months passed, i wanted to say sorry but i was afraid of what her reaction was going to be. we still talked over the summer though. she went to europe this summer and she would always text and call me. my first impression of her (possessive and obsessive) was still in the back of my mind. i was always nice to her and replied and answered but i wold reply with a nasty atittude sometimes. it costed her $2 every time to call and text me overseas. my sophomore year started and i had three classes with her. school started around august so in october, i started to really really like her. since we had classes this year, ive noticed that the way she acted earlier was just her personality. in late november, i started talking to her more frequently. we were cool and stuff until she dropped the bomb on me. she said she didnt like me anymore and now, she likes someone else. i was so devastated. I know i hurt her and i took her for granted but i still feel like she will come around one day. the guy she likes is a jock, has a gf, and has a big ego. eventually, she will see that it wont happen with them. ive tried everything. ive used my humor and charm. im a really passionate person so i tried that in my charm but i seems not to work. she didnt want to talk afterwards until i said that i was ok with being friends. i lied and said i was ok. so she went from not wanting to talk to me to talking to me every minute of every day during xmas break. we were really open and honest with alot of our conversations and she seemed happy. i kind of fell out of it after xmas day but we still talked. now she doesnt want to talk anymore because she wants me to move on because she has moved on. if i keep on talking to her, i cant move on and she knows that. everypne tells me to move on but i still feel that spark and i dont want to give up. i have talked to her about this 3 times and i know i seem like a complaining and whiny lunatic. the way she seemed in the beginning is how i am now. i have constant nightmares and good dreams about her every night. my heart says just wait but its too hard. its come to the point where i watch 500 days of summer every night and started writing a book. she says she wants t read it as soon as i get finished. I remember we were doing a program for our school and i was in the band and she was in the chorus. while i was on stage, she would look and look for me until she found me . then after i was finished on stage, the naching band performance came up. we marched in the auditorium and she looked and looked for me. when she found me, her eyes locked on me. i asked her later in the day about this and she said just becuase she doesnt like me anymore doesnt mean that she cant care for me. recently, she told me to forget her and she was only talking to me during xmas break to make me happy. but some of the things she said to me during the break doesnt make it seem like it was nothing. even after she says forget about me, she might text me or answer a text every now and then. her friends really dont like me because i hurt so badly. they persuade her to not think about me. in one conversation, she said i make her feel vunerable. huh?! during the xmas break, we would talk on the phone and we would call each other almost every night and talk until 1 or 2 in the morning. she said she would hang with her family and only talk to me and some of her best friends. but she talked to me the most. my words sooted her and made her sleepy after a few hours. thats what she said. she is cool at one minute and angry in another minute. she curses when shes really angry and worried and she has done that more than often lately. she remembers everything that i like and almost everything about me. I dont know what to do. i want some kind of security to know that it will happen but i know i will never get it. im so depressed that i look up on her horoscopes and stuff like that. shes a taurus so she likes to take her time, act stubborn, and is determined at alot of things. ive gone through different processes. i was mad at her at first for not telling me what she felt over the past months. then i was mad at her friends. now im mad and disgusted with myself. im full of regret of what i did to her and would never do it again. i was just new to relationships and i need a second chance. i wish i never stopped talking to her and we wouldnt be going through this right now. we could be a happy couple. im a really great guy and have alot to offer. i can sing, write poetry and stories. im fascinated with movies and want to direct and produce movies. i have great taste in music and she likes that. we exhcange songs that decribe our feeling for one another. i remember i told her lost without you by robin thicke and vanilla twilight by owl city and i have more to give. she gave me sweet dreams by beyonce and others. she says im a a*$hole but im also a sweet, funny, adorable, and sensitive guy and i will find what im looking for. she also says im cute sometimes. i catch her glancing at me for a quick second every now and then. any advice?
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female
reader, tysgirly13 +, writes (12 January 2010):
Well my advice is to move on. You may like her but its probably just the thrill of the chase. I have dated many many guys and they don't ever seem to like you until you're done trying to get them. It sounds to me that it just wasn't meant to be. From me though it is just expierence speaking. Everyone is different and many girls react in different ways. Sounds to me like she was kinda obsessive, and honey let me tell you, you don't want to go there. I am a girl so I would know. Girls become way too attached, especially at a young age. My advice to you: play the field, enjoy being young, and the girl of your dreams will come along, it may not be today, tomorrow, or the day after. Trust me and give it time, she will either change her mind and you will end up together, or you will find someone that can make you as happy as you have ever been.
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