A
female
age
36-40,
*rndz4life
writes:hi sory this can be a bit long but i need ur help !!i was in relationship with a guy for 3 yrs later i broke up with him because things werent working out for me, rather i was not ready to commit.i had casual relations every time but this turned out to be taken seriously by him. he was hurt a lot.i know i had commited a biggest mistake of my life.this thing has made me mature enough now. i have realized that i have no right to hurt sum1 like this. he insulted me, emotionaly harased me but i acepted all his behaviour because i knew my mistake and i deserved that. he has kind of moved on, rather trying to move on..and i am damn happy about it.it is reducing my guilt within me.i am very reserved kind of person so doesnot make friends easily. i ( and my ex bf) have 3 common friends. i wanted my privacy and never discussed this mater with them as i feared they would look down upon me.now it happened so that my ex told everything to 1 of them. i didnt mind because this would have made him feel better but now that friend has stopped being in touch with me, no calls, no mesage and avoids me.this is going on for a week and now suddenly my 2nd friend also has started avoiding me. i dont know the exact reason for such behaviour but i doubt my 1 st friend discussed this mater because my ex wouldnt have.i tried to sort out things but the avoidance is going on with a reason " i am busy " and swithching off cels i am feeling bad about this. they had told me some of their secrets in past and i have stiil kept the secrets with me as they had told me with trust. but i am feeling bad that my friend made it like a matter of gossip.i am happy that my ex is geting all support, sympathy and friends to get moved on but they were my best friends too. i am losing out these few friends foreveri dont know whats going on? i know my mistake waas big?? should i take it as a punishment from them for my big mistakes in life and move away from them? ( as they have started hating me )what should i do ? can u advise me?
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female
reader, frndz4life +, writes (20 March 2011):
frndz4life is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANKS A LOT!
A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 I agree with AngelDlite's comments and would like to add that your friends could just be hurt that you didn't trust them enough to confide your troubles to them the way they have alway confided their problems to you. You missed out on a chance to bond with them and gain their sympathy when you kept silent. Sharing your problems with friends, aways makes them easier to carry. Remember that next time.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 hi
when couples break up the mutual friends very often 'take sides'. your friends probably feel that you are the one who has done something wrong and they want to show loyalty to your ex-boyfriend because (by your own admission) he was hurt by you.
in relationships and their break ups there are two sides to every story, but you don't seem to have shared your version with your friends. maybe it would help it you did.
maybe in time when you ex boyfriend gets over the hurt you caused him and stops sharing his problems with these friends they may feel able to be closer to you again. prepare yourself though for the fact though that they may have been told things that have changed their mind about you. make other friends too
xx
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