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I loved her first but now she's dating my best friend and he's cheating on her!

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 December 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been best friends with this guy, we'll call him "Jack" for about eight years now. He's a real player and I'm starting to resent him for it.

A few years ago, we met this one girl, we'll call her "Vera", at the same time. I took an immediate interest in her because physically, she was everything I was looking for in a girl. Later on, I would find out that in personality, she was my female equivalent.

My best friend understood and left her alone so I could make my move. Mainly because she was NOT his type in the least, so he did not even attempt to pursue her. Well, it was a failed attempt on my part. I effed up and was put in the friend zone...

Fast forward four years and we're all 21 and she's the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. She's still my female equivalent and she's smart, funny, making BANK at her current job, she takes care of herself. She's everything I want and need in a woman.

And she's dating my best friend.

A lot can change in just four years and it really sucks how MUCH things can really change. Four years ago, my best friend wouldn't look twice at this woman I've been fantasizing about for years now. Now the bastard has her and I'm left thinking, "What the hell happened...?"

They've been together for eight months now and according to her, they haven't had sex, yet. In fact, she says she's starting to regret her decision of dating him and not dating someone else. Of course, that bit of information piqued my interest and yes, I did try to get the answer out of her but she wouldn't budge. She gave me the most sexy puppy-dog face I've ever seen and I melted and just couldn't push her anymore.

I'm weak against her and I'm starting to wonder if she realizes it. Unfortunately, she is STILL dating my best friend but I know he cheats on her and lies to her about it. I'm too afraid to tell her because I don't want to ruin a friendship between all three of us.

I know I love this woman and would do ANYTHING to protect her, love her, and whatever else. The one thing I can't do is hurt hers and my best friend's feelings. I can tell she's starting to take an interest in me. She comes over crying, complaining about my best friend and I have no idea what to say because he's my best friend. But after a while, we start talking about everything under the sun. We have way too much in common.

We've shared drinks and a good laugh together plenty of times but none of that can constitute as what I want us to be. Especially since my best friend still has her. It physically and emotionally pains me to see her crying all the time but when she smiles, my world just stops and spins. That woman surrounds me and I want her so badly and make her happy forever but she's my best friend's girl...

What the hell do I do!?

View related questions: best friend, player

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A female reader, AgonyAuntiee93 United Kingdom +, writes (4 December 2010):

Why Dont You Tell Your Best Friend That He Needs To Fess Up. If You Still Love Her You Could Take Her For A Friendly Drink And Tell Her That You Dont Want To Hurt Her Buty That He Is Cheating On Her. Its The Best That You Could Do.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 December 2010):

Honeypie agony auntHoney, she picked the wrong horse. (your friend) I think there is Nothing you CAN do til she decided they are through.

Though, you CAN take your friend aside and tell him, that he needs to fess up. He needs to shit or get off the pot.

Seems to me that she is kind of taking advantage of you.

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