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I love you. You love religion.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, *orbiddenHELL writes:

Dear cupid...

Well first let me say that you must be at least this tall to ride my emotional roller coaster.

Age; I'm 16, she's 16... high school. Don't laugh.

I swore to god that I would never fall in love. Now look at me.

There was this girl. Let's call her THE Un-dateable. she is amazing. and we used to be friends... we would sit accost the table from one another and just have deep comfortable conversations... no big. one day we were having a discussion about religion... or something... and she opened my mind... i forget how. I looked at her and i said, surprising myself, i mean i had never done anything this bold before, i said; "i could kiss you right now". she blushed and looked away. Then still in that same trance, call it an adrenalin rush or something, i wrote the words, "I Love you" on a piece of paper. (still in shock at my emotional state)

her reply: "i don't think we can be friends anymore"

wow.

Three days... and she was talking to me again. it was sort of a beating around the bush kind of thing. We weren't actually talking about it, but we were, in a subtle way, referencing it.

two weeks... she... admitted that she loved me.

this lasted about 24 hours, i got sick, and she pretty much declared that she had made a mistake.

ahhh... the catch.

she was raised into a religion that requires you to have an arranged marriage.

this event was around the beginning of spring end of winter last year.

throughout this time, we've fallen into love and out of it about eight times. At this point were not allowing ourselves to fall back... and if we do, were sure as hell not going to accept it.

I guess the advice I'm asking for is someone who fell in love with someone in high school, and broke up for religious reasons, someone who's since had an arranged marriage, can you tell me weather we're... just tell me the outcome.

and if possible, the advice of someone who ditched the arranged marriage thing.

View related questions: broke up, fell in love

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A male reader, ForbiddenHELL United States +, writes (18 December 2008):

ForbiddenHELL is verified as being by the original poster of the question

In order to be eligible for her hand in marriage, you must be born into the religion.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008):

as far as i know, there is no religion which requires you to have arranged marriages, arranged marriages are to do with cultural differences. ask her to read up on her religion properly, research it using mainly books (net sources can be unreliable)and then make up her mind whther if her religion only arranged marriages are allowed because i doubt that very much.

x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008):

Hey.What im going to say might take a bit to read so get ready. Ok first of all the religion thing really sucks man I mean really. I feel bad for someone who has to go thru that.

I would say ask her if she can just dumb the religion thing, but then again that can be insulting and she may get really mad and start saying things like well your "x" religion is stupid because "x" things (x is unknown). And arguing definitely won't help. So first you need to find a way to ask about that without being insulting, which is probably the hardest part. Then you've got her parents to deal with, whom are most likely very religous! My reasoning behind that is she mentioned it very early on so her parents might have made that a topic and they keep bugging her about it. Which is throwing her into a state where she doesn't even want to try to do something about it beacuse, her parents keep pressing her about it.

Really the only solution I see to this is when she's older abandon that part of her religon or her religon as a whole, or find some jack crazy way to make sure you're the "chosen one". And I know the abandon her religion part seeems very shaky but that's all I could think of.

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