A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am I a terrible person?I feel crazy.Crazy woman is an oxy moron, isn't it?I am engaged and set to be married in 5 weeks.I love my fiance, but I cannot be monogamous.I want to feel terrible but I don't. Everyone is telling me not to do it. Not to get married, not to cheat.And I know they are right. I recently and only once slept with a friend who also works for the company I work for. We quickely became friends when I started working with him about 4 months ago.We had an amazing connection. Though now he won't see me. Being wise and staying away from, being a "mister" as he defined it. I feel crazy because I feel obsessed with him. I text him once a week, and sometimes he responds and sometimes he doesn't. It's all I can think about since this happened about 5 weeks ago. Now he tells me someone wants to hook him up with my roomate?I realize it is a distraction from my fiance now. The only problem now, is I can't let it go. This guy doesn't want to be mixed up with this, and I often times think of not going through with the wedding.But I have to get married, and see how it unfolds. But I have this fantasy about getting to know this other man.I feel stuck. But isn't taht what temptaion does, it keeps you from moving forward.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): I agree with the advice - NOT to get married at this stage.If u meet the 'right' person u wudnt feel the desire for any1 else.
A
female
reader, cuttieicy  +, writes (11 June 2007):
 girl im gonna share what happend to me. I have a boyfriend before he was a nurse in the US. Suppose were going to get married next thing happend i fell inlove to a police officer who dump me in the trash when my fiancee found out he married other girl do like it will happen to you.Ia m sharing this with you try to love your fiancee.dont let it happen what happened to me.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 June 2007):
 Wow, how can you even be contemplating marriage? You owe it to your fiancee to call off the wedding. You are no way ready for marriage. Play fair.
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A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (11 June 2007):
 I think you're not ready to marry your fiance. If you truly love someone, especially in the first few years of a relationship, you just don't want to have a relationship with anyone else. That's the way it is. The fact that you're doing this could be put down to nerves about the wedding, but I feel it's more likely panic because you know deep down that you're doing the wrong thing marrying your fiance.
I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear and I know you say you 'have' to get married, but you don't 'have' to do anything and it's not fair on your partner apart from anything else. Better take more time now than go ahead and regret it/ruin someone else's life etc in the future.
I honestly think you need to postpone this wedding and have a real think about what you want and what you're doing. Too many people rush into marriage with 'second best' because they don't think they'll meet 'the one' and they spend years regretting it. It's not worth it. Be sure your fiance is 'the one' before marrying him.
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