A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend so much but I cannot stand his personality anymore. When we first met, it was like a match made in heaven. We are so passionate with each other and I have never been in love with anyone else the way I am now with him. The problem is, now that we are on our 15th month, true colors are showing! I found out that I cant stand his personality. I see how he treats his mother and sisters, and I dont want to be treated the same when we get married. Of course, it's bound to happen. He often ignores them and commands them like they are his maids. He is the eldest so his sisters seem to have no choice but to follow his orders. I am afraid that he might ignore and boss me around too one day. Also, he picks on me all the time. He seldom tells me Im beautiful. I hate it when I try so hard to be beautiful (I put on make up, wear the nicest clothes) and the only comment I get is that I'm getting fatter. Recently, he told me we look like number 10 :( because he is thin and Im fat.I took it so hard because I was having my PMS that day. Girls would understand.Also, when I want to have sex and he doesn't. I will start kissing him and caressing him but he will tell me to stop in my face. He does not even make an effort not to make me feel embarrassed. Nevertheless, I love him. It's just that I dont think I can be with a man like him. It's just sad. I need your help .. how to I tell him that I dont want to be in this relationship anymore without hurting him and without too much damage on me?
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male
reader, Bob Loblaw  +, writes (15 August 2012):
Very easy - you tell him that you don't want to be in this relationship any more, and that you need to find someone who appreciates you and treats you with respect.
If by some chance he argues that he does appreciate you and treat you with respect, you'll know he's lying. This is where you need to stay strong and let him go. You've already told us that you can't stand his personality, and at this point it's his deeds and not his words you have to pay attention to. He has totally messed up the relationship with you, and it's not your fault that you are doing what has to be done by ending it.
Kudos to you for knowing when to let go, and in recognizing that he has some serious issues with the women in his life that are beginning to be transferred to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2012): You're absolutely right. If you spend your life with him, he will treat you like he does his mom and sisters, possibly even worse. And there is no excuse for his calling you fat. I've never seen you, but I'm willing to bet you're not fat. Some guys just have this superficial view that women should be stick skinny with massive boobs. They would call any woman fat who had the least bit of extra weight in any place besides her boobs. My ex was like this. He called me fat, and I was a size 3. Ridiculous, huh? After hearing it so many time, though, I started to believe it. Get out of this relationship before this happens to you. Also, be staying with him, that sends him the message that how he treats you is acceptable. Maybe if he spends enough time alone, he'll realize he has to change his ways. No woman in her right mind is gonna want him like he is.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Wow he's an ass. Kudos to you for knowing to breakup with him rather than ask us what you should do. Breaking up isn't easy, but you have to be confident and stick to your guns. If he begs you to stay or says he will try harder you have to ignore it because it isn't true. He will revert back to the old behavior. You are dumping him for a reason and you can't forget it by thinking about the good times or falling for the false charm. Just sit with him in a neutral spot that you will be able to get out of easily and tell him you don't want to be in the relationship anymore. Personally I wouldn't list every single reason why, I'd just let him know you grew apart and aren't happy anymore, that way he can't try to claim he will change everything. You will both be fine. People break up all the time and move on. You will definitely be happier and look forward to meeting someone who is nice. Just keep busy after the break up and stay away from him. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 August 2012):
 You will hurt him... he will make a scene and cause problems... it's the nature of breakups.
and you are wise to break up with him.
just tell him that it's not working out for you and that you feel it's time to move on
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