A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 3.5 years, but it has been rocky for the last year. He is constantly too busy to spend time with me, and when we get together he is usually too tired to do anything. I get so frustrated and lonely, and question whether we have much in common. We took a break last year because I was so upset with our situation. He has tried a little to improve things and I love him so very much, but I am still unhappy with our relationship. Over the past few years I have grown very close to a mutual friend who is male. Over time we started developing feelings for one another and once we came out with it, we decided it was best to end our friendship. Now we have re-connected from seeing each other amoung friends and at parties. He is fun and exciting and we have great conversations, which is such a contrast to my stale relationship. I feel guilty because I would never cheat on my boyfriend, but I cant help my feelings for this other man. I dont know what to do. I love my boyfriend so much, but I cant continue to feel lonely and taken for granted. We have had many talks and aren't making any progress. Is considering a relationship with this other man (after I end my relationship with my boyfriend) wrong? we have such a great connection....Please help!
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 February 2008):
 No, there is nothing wrong with that at all. Though the sooner you let your current boyfriend go the better. There is not point dragging things out.
But don't rush into anything with this other guy, beware the rebound factor ( things often arent as rosy as they look )
A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (5 February 2008):
 I don't see what the problem would be with considering a relationship with this other guy once you've ended your current relationship. What would be wrong is if you persue an emotional/physical relationship with him before you end things with your current boyfriend. If you are having these thoughts about this other guy, then you should definitely break it off with your current bf, it's not fair to keep him dangling for the sake of hurting his feelings. It's always hard to break off a long term relationship but if it's not working, it's not working. What kind of future would you have if you married your current bf knowing that it's not what you want. I say let your current bf down gently and take it slow with the new guy. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): no its not wrong at all i have always said you should never be ashamed of how you feel after all you cant really help it but if you are really unhappy with your current bf things are going to have to change otherwise you are going to have to move on remember its good to work on your relationship but any relationship is a two way street make sure it works both ways
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