A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am a 21 year old female who has been engaged for 4 years to my highschool sweetheart. He has been with me through some pretty tough times, including the revelation that I was molested by my stepfather. We used to have a very sexually exciting relationship invlolving many new things and places.I just don't feel physically attracted to him anymore. I love him, but the spark is gone. I don't know if it is his weight gain or what. I have gently tried to encourage him to come work out with me and get more active, but he just won't. I also fear it could be psychological. He sulls up and is angry alot when we don't have sex every couple of days, and I feel as though I am being forced against my will to do it..taking me back to memories I don't care to remember. I just don't desire him like I used to.I find myself fantasizing about other guys and even a particular male friend of mine, and I still like to masturbate. I know my sex drive isn't gone completely, but I don't know how to rekindle what we used to have together.
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engaged, fiance, sex drive, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Sometimes ,it is difficult to bring back the past glory. You have changed and so has he. Times are not the same . You cannot go back in time.
It is like flogging a dead horse. No matter how hard you try , the horse has come to the end of the road and cannot walk anymore.
You have come to a forked road and you have to decide where to turn.
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (8 January 2008):
I really wish i could go to school and understand this particular behaviour about women.My girlfriend is going through a similar phase and even ended up cheating on me.Based on what i'm going through right now,there are two options.Either you stay with him in the hope that the spark will come back some day soon.Or you call it quits and follow your desire.One thing i can promise you is that if you don't make a PERSONAL decision to make it work you'll always feel frustrated and will never enjoy your relationship.When you stay,you'll need to change the way you think for your boyfriend's sake and believe me i see my girlfriend really having a hard time doing that but i know it's possible.Make a decision and never look back.Either way i know it will hurt in a way.
Good luck.
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