A
female
age
30-35,
*ost_in_Yaoi
writes:Ok, I've been going out with my boyfriend for going on two years now, but we have only seen each other once in the last eleven months for we have a long distance relationship. I know he loves me and I love him. But I don't know if I should trust him because when his ex-girlfriend moved away, he didn't really break-up with her, he just stopped calling. I'm worried that the same thing might happen to me. I've asked my peers and some say we should stay together and others say we should break-up. I'm trying to follow my heart, but it's hard to say what my heart is telling me. What should I do about my long distance relationship?
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female
reader, Lost_in_Yaoi +, writes (6 May 2007):
Lost_in_Yaoi is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you, Shania and Irish49. I've been stuck between wanting to break up and wanting to stay with him, but now that I've heard from others with experience, I can make a better decision. So, again, Thanks ^.^;
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007): Awww, hun...Shania is so right. You should be out dating fellows, and having fun. Two years is a long time for a young lady like yourself to be committed in a relationship where you have seen him just once, in 11 months. It's hard to build trust at the best of times..pretty tough to do that when you don't see him. Think about that, dear.
Anyway, just in case you think us old broads aren't makin' sense here and you will go ahead and keep dating him anyway...I will to you and I can't impress this enough! Trust is absolute...it's the foundation of any good, quality relationship. If you don't have trust you have really nothing. Do not follow your heart, too much-use your head too-always. People become blinded to little 'niggling' things in a relationship when they follow that ole 'follow your heart' thing too much. They overlook character traits in their dating partners that can come back and bite them in the butt. He broke up with his ex gf, by just stopping contact with her. Left her hanging so to speak. Actions do speak louder here. Has he ever expressed remorse by telling you he regretted doing that to her? If he has said that, he's learned by the experience and possibly has matured. Or does he not seem to care that he did this to her? If so, then you may want to set a relationship boundary with him. Tell him that no matter what, if he gets an idea not to date you anymore -you 'expect' him to tell you..that he is not to just disappear. Listen to how he reacts. Is he scoffing it off as nothing? Or is he clearly saying he wished he didn't do that? See what he says. Setting boundaries in relationships is important, hun. It lets others know, that you respect yourself enough not to put up with crappy stuff that can happen.
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (5 May 2007):
 Sorry if im going to sound blunt with you but i cannot see this relationship lasting.You said you have only seen your boyfriend once in the last 11 months,which to me isn't a proper relationhip.I know your very keen on him but the distance is too vast for it to stay strong,your both very young and i dont believe that you should be putting all your energies and thoughts into just this one guy.Why dont you go out and see this wide world....start meeting new people and form proper relationships where you wont have to keep thinking about this other fella.Think about it...your not getting any reasurance,just suspicion and worry,is it really worth it?
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