A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have split up with my partner two days ago because of the way he treats me. we don't live together, however, i know his not cheating on me. he dose not come down to see me, instead he tells me to come down to see him all the time. he has said some very hurtful things to me. i get to the point where i don't want to live like this or be with him, so i end it, but i always go back. i know this may sound silly, but i go back because he don't seem to bothered weather we part or not and i can't bear that feeling cos i do love him. when we do get back together he tells me he had missed me and he really loves me, but when i say that if i didn't come back to him, it would have been the end of our relationship, he says that he was doing both of us a favour, as if it was all my fault. all i am trying to do is make a go of things and be close, as I'm fed up of telephone love we have been together for 4 years. i have not called him this time and his still not called since the split, i receive to many mixed messages from him. how can he just switch off like that? if love so nice why dose it hurt so bad, i just don't understand. i know his stubborn but surly,if you love someone wouldn't you fight for what you want i would and have done in this relationship. please help i don't understand.
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get back together, mixed messages, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank for your advice,thank you it makes sence
A
female
reader, RubyBooth +, writes (22 June 2007):
you are sending him mixed messages too. By going back to him each time, you are telling him that it is ok to treat you badly, that you'll put up with it. You are leaving for the wrong reasons, you want him to show he cares by asking you to come back, you already know he wont do this, he has proved that to you more than once. Its time to move on, either with the relationship or without it. The relationship as it is, is making you unhappy, you should always strive to be happy, you deserve it, we all do and you can be by breaking this chain of behaviour with your partner - untill you do it will continue! Do not contact him, if he has feelings for you, he will eventually contact you, if he hasn't then he wont. Do not expect nor wait for him to contact you. Spend some time on yourself, you seem to lack confidence - whould you say you had low self esteem?. The way to gain confidence is to behave in a confident manner, improve your self esteem by not allowing yourself to be a victim. Be nice to yourself and remember that this relationship - if it has ended - was a valuble experience, learn from it. Decide what you want and need in a intimate relationship, write it down. You will meet your other half when the time is right, you will recognise him, he's the one that makes you truly happy.
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A
male
reader, Playgroundcops  +, writes (22 June 2007):
Please do not confuse love with your desire to be with someone. Look out for yourself in this situation. Find someone that consistantly makes you happy and is as giving of the relationship as your are. He's playing you. He gets what he wants then he takes you for granted. When HE gets lonely all of a sudden he misses you again. He's an idiot. My advise: RUN and don't look back. Find someone else, or not. Don't look so hard for a relationship. If you do, you'll end up again, in one that is one-sided. Demand respect everyday of your life. Never allow rude comments from your partner more than once.
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A
female
reader, rachal +, writes (22 June 2007):
 i think that he's showing all the signs that he doesn't love you , but it's really up to you to decide if you're going to do something about it. i know the pain that you're going through and i wish you the best of luck. i hope that you two work things out.:)
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (22 June 2007):
 Sometimes you love someone but as much as you do you get to a point and realise that the relationship is no longer healthy for either of you.
It is a very hard thing to deal with when you love someone and they just don't seem to care, and you long for them to feel the same way.
He does not put much effort in from what you have said you always have to go and see him and what sort of a relationship is it if it is all one sided.
Take this opportunity to start a fresh surround yourself with friends and family and before too long you will get over this maybe it's for the best.
Take care.xx.
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