A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How on earth does my father know? My dad doesn't like my bf. Not even a little bit. So last night he told me that my bf would never start working now, he's 20. He said that he would only study but never actually do the job. I just got off the phone with my bf and he said that he doesn't want to work yet, he first wants to learn more. He's going to work but only a stupid job to pay for his studys. My dad was right. The thing bothering me is all the other things my dad said. Like that he would not be able to look after me when i'm done with school this year because he is too lazy and that he would never be able to get a real job. What if that is also true? What then? I want to be with him. I love him with all my heart. But what if he can't give me what i need? I'm going to study after school but i would still want my dad to like him. And trust me being with him. How? What can i do? I dnt want to talk to my bf. I've thought about doing that but i don't want him to not like my dad? Why can't ppl see him for what he really is? He cares so much ,i can't think about one thing that he would not do for me. I want my parents to see him for that. Sorry for the long message. x Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 If your age is correct, I wouln't worry about it now. Enjoy being a teen, and not worry about what people are going to do for work. It depends on what sort of studdies he's doing. Would your dad be right if he's studying to further his career opportunities, not at all. I don't know where you're from, but where I am studdying means more opportunity. A chance to possibly retire some day. A chance to buy a home to house a family instead of everyone sharing rooms, and only one bathroom with 3 girls in the home.
You said you love him with all your heart but then you let your dad fill your head up with his dislike. What part of your heart then is missing that love.
I'd say give him some time to grow into his studdies. You may be surprised.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Well the theory is that if you study longer then you get a better job since you have more qualifications. I dont think you can hold his descision to study longer against him realistically especially as you said that you yourself intend to do the same thing.
Sounds like to me that your dad is just being a protective father to me which is understandable. I'm not sure he would like any boyfriend you have right now though I maybe wrong. It's really hard to comment too much not knowing the boy in question but from what you are saying here it sounds to me he has things pretty well planned out and that is a good sign. I wouldnt worry too much it sounds to me like he will be able to provide for you in the long term. As to your dad you may well just have to ride out his criticism until your bf is in a position to prove he is not lazy. Good luck :)
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