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I love her, how can I help her get over her ex?

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 January 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 January 2012)
A male India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So i like [love] this girl who happens to be a best friend of mine. She knows it, and she is cool with it.

But my problem is, she brokeup with her boyfriend one and a half years ago, and she still cant get over him. i always be by her side when ever she feels low. I show a lot of care and affection :)

I am not in a relationship with her, i atleast want to guide her in the right path to get over her ex. I just cant leave her because she cant love me back. I am her best friend. Please suggest some way to make her get over her ex...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012):

Just invite her out to do fun things, and be willing to listen to her if she wants to talk about stuff. it can also help to get her out meeting and dating new people casually. so you can introduce her to people she might hit it off with.

BUT you have to let her go at her own pace, each person handles the process differently. It's not up to you to decide that she's taking too long to get over her ex and to try and speed up the process.

therefore, while it's very nice of you to want to help your friend, make sure that you don't become too 'invested' in her situation. If you find yourself upset that she's still unhappy all the time or frustrated at her that no matter how much you help her she's still not getting 'better', then you need to take a step back yourself.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (6 January 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntI think that she is relying on you just a bit to much. A year and a half is a long time and she should be well over him by now but with you there to pick up all the pieces all of the time then it is not allowing her to move forward from her ex. It is great that you are there for her, but she needs to pull herself together now and not rely on you so much, who knows if she does that she might realise that she likes you as well more than a friend.

You need to talk to her about this, tell her you are there for her but she needs to try and get over him or else she is wasting her life away. Tell her how much you like her and leave it at that. Give her some space without you and it might make her realise that she needs to pull herself together.

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