A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have an ace of a woman but I don't really lust for her and the attraction and sex is lacking. Everywhere I look, I see women who drive me wild inside and all I want to do is have sex with all of them. What should I do? I'm already with the kind of woman I want to marry, but I need better sex. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthings started to improve... now I just need better sex. That's all there is to it. I guess I need to end it? What else can I really do???
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe've tried spicing it up... It's short-lived.
She's good looking, but I'm not totally attracted to her. I like it when a woman gets very wet so that I can eat her cum. This isn't the case with her and she isn't very tight either.
I think that Jennilove is right... But the problem is that she is not willing to be friends if we break up.
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A
female
reader, Jennilove  +, writes (3 April 2010):
If you are not attracted to the woman you are in love with...then you are merely great friends. You can adore and love your friends too remember. I feel sorry for both of you in this situation: you have a right to have your own needs and relationship requirements fulfilled (and never let anyone tell you that sex is not important in a relationship!) and your girlfriend deserves a man who loves her in a sexual way and also finds her desirable.
It might hurt your girlfriend to know the truth but believe me, staying with her would only hurt her more if she were ever to find out the truth. Imagine how you would feel if she was only with you because you were 'husband material' but wasnt attracted to you at all? It would hurt. Everyone wants to feel desirable, and you shouldnt feel bad for wanting a good sex life. Sex is a wonderful thing - you shouldnt sacrifice this incredible part of a relationship just because the woman is good for your social status, or impresses your family, or would have your dinner on the table every night.
Ask yourself this question: could you be married to a woman who didnt turn you on? And when times get tough (as they inevitably do),could you handle not even having the memories of a once great and passionate love life to drive you forward and give you hope again? If the sex isn't good now, think how it will be when married life sets in? What a depressing future you will be in for!
Instead of lusting after other women, go out and have some fun for a bit. Just end things with your girlfriend first. You both deserve so much better than what you are sharing at the moment. I wish you all the best!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 April 2010):
Then go home to your girlfriend and work on it. Better sex wont' just come along. You have to work at it.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Don't get engaged to her. Were you attracted to her at the beginning and then it waned? If that's the case find out what happened that took the spark away. Did you start out as friends? If good sex is that important to you, when you date someone look for sexual compatability first, then see if the emotional connection is there, rather than the other way round. I know you spent time with her and don't want to start over again, and that looking for a partner who's sexy and at the same time wife material would take a long time. But it's better to be single than to live a lie. You don't want to sacrifice your sex life to be with a loyal, stable partner. A marriage does not mean the end to an exciting sex life. I know many people would disagree with me, but it's better to know that your sexual desires will be filled then be stuck in a domestic situation which binds you with guilt if you leave. When you are not attracted to a person, no amount of foreplay or collection of lingerie is ever enough. It doesn't mean you are a bad guy for wanting everything. You just have to be honest with what you want and be happy with what you get. She will be hurt, but she deserves to be with someone who lusts for her and loves her.
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