| A
male
,
*risbo
writes: I'm am attracted to my girlfriend's best friend. We have been going out for 3 years. I love my girlfriend yet I still feel so attracted to her best friend, we seem to get along so well and we are both attracted to each other sexually. What can I do? This is causing ultimate confusion. I love them both. Help me....
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, benjiluver +, writes (13 September 2005):
 hey theres nothing wrong with choseing secound best.i mean i'm ALWAYS bin secoind best and i think it would be nice if ppl started give the secound person a chance!
A
female
reader, lildeesbg  +, writes (12 September 2005):
 Do you LOVE your girlfriends best friend? or do you LUST your girlfriends best friend?
Sometimes, when your in a relationship for a long time, everyone around you looks dateable. That is because you want something new. Totally, understandable. The reason you might want your girls bestfriend is because 1) its new 2) That the closest female you came in contact with other then your girl. 3) she is obviously attractive. and 4) its something you ultimately cant have.
If you love your girlfriend, dating her best friend would kill her. Answer this question how would you feel if she dated either your best friend or your brother? (I used brother, because some men would consider their ex dating their brother as more of a betrayal) because that is exactly what your doing, your betraying your women. More then half the time it doesnt work out with the girlfriends, friend anyways and you end up wanting your ex-girl back.
Honestly, this is were you need to be unselfish. If you feel like you need a break with your girl to date other people then tell her, but without having her bestfriend as the women you date.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2005): I have great sympathy for your situation. It's a tough one.
It's strange sometimes, how life works, just when you think you have everything you've always wanted, something else comes along, and complicates everything. But please do be carefull, the grass always looks greener on the other side, (maybe because there's more "fertiliser"). Think about that. It's impossible to know exactly what youre going through without knowing how stable or unstable your relationship is. At the end of the day, consider how you feel about both of them, who makes you want to be a better person, who brings out the best in you. It's important to have growth in a relationship, and if you feel that youve reached the cieling with your current girl then perhaps you have. Something major must be missing in your relationship, try and figure out what it is, and then figure out if you can resolve it. If not, then you already have your answer. Just because youve been with a girl for 3 years doesn't mean she's the one youre supposed to spend your life with. Don't beat yourself up with guilt, take time in making this decision. If you do decide to date her friend, then ask yourself this, how strong are your feelings for this girl, will your relationship be able to withstand the circumstances in which it came to be. If you can honestly say yes, and that youre willing to give it a try, come what may. Then I say go for it!!! Who knows she might be the one.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2005): i think it's pretty simple. you always want what you cant get.
so choose, stick with your girlfriend, or play the field and go with her firend and end up with your girlfriend hating you and a probably short term relationship with her friend- as you will both probably feel so crap you wont want it to carry on- and fantasies are different in reality.
...............................
A
reader, pops +, writes (11 September 2005):
The way you are going, you will probably lose them both. Either pick one, or wait until you better understand why you are attracted to anyone, before thinking about dating.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2005): uh-oh. i feel the option of "cheating" coming on strongly. pick and choose kid.
...............................
|
