A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I'm confused, excited, nervous and thrilled at the same time. I feel overwhelmed. Yesterday night/Earlier this morning I slept with a beautiful woman that I meet last week. It wasent love at first sight, but more like instant attraction. We went out with a group of friends drinking and one thing let to another. It just made it easier for us to do what we both knew we wanted. I knew she liked me (eventually she told me so)and I liked her, but I guess we were ashamed of acting upon it so quickly and maybe looking desperate or needy. The thing is that I found out that she has a boyfriend that same night we were together. I kind of knew or suspected so because of her screenname and little details like that. She didn't mention him before she was even somewhat of a flirt with me. I dropped her off at her place the next day and it was a little awkward. She was feeling remorse and I didn't know how to act. It was the first time that either of us was involved in something like this. Her boyfriend lives back in her homecountry. She is going to be living here in the US for a year. I'm not trying to start a formal relationship with her because I know in the end it would not work. I understand that, I have no false hopes. I also don't want to ruin her life and relationship. I been on the otherside of this situation before with an ex-girlfriend so I know the feeling. But, I like her and I want to be her secret lover for as long as she is here. We are both attracted to each other. I don't know how she would feel about that. We both agreed to be discrete about what happen and to act as normal as possible around people. But maybe in private with could fool around. I guess that what I'm most confused about is what to do, how to act in order to pull it off. I know that she still attracted to me and she is probably as confused as I am. Do I have to ignore her? Be kind and still flirt? We had some fantastic hot sex and I would like to repeat that. I know it sounds terrible and it is but she is gorgeous the thrill doing the prohibited is exciting. Maybe this is just a phase right now, I don't know. I would like to hear what everyone has to say, any advice?
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ex girlfriend, flirt, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bfly36  +, writes (29 September 2008):
 Hi, if you continue to be her secret lover a few things may happen. He will always be first. On her birthday and holidays she will be with him. If you need support from her, he is first. She may also leave you if he finds out. This wont allow you to have what you deserve in a relationship. Unless you are willing to deal with the above, maybe its best you back away and date someon that is single and nearer to you. Good Luck!!!!
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