A
male
age
51-59,
*SBach
writes:I'm in my late forties, and recently I have been seeing a very nice woman in her mid fifties. We haven't slept together, but the relationship looks like it's heading towards that level of intimacy (I hope!).I assume that given her age she is probably post-menopausal, and this is wholly uncharted territory for me. So I would like to ask any post-menopausal agony aunts if there are any specific issues I should be aware of concerning sex. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 December 2013):
 now that's the kind of follow up I Love.
Congrats OP... glad it's working out!
A
male
reader, JSBach +, writes (6 December 2013):
JSBach is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your advice.
We did finally become intimate, and I found it highly agreeable. There was a certain dryness issue, but we used lube, and then everything went very well.
As I said, highly agreeable.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (4 September 2013):
 Thank you So Very Confused who has brought (very sweetly to my attention) that I have misread your lady friends age.
My advice on menopause still stands though and I still think you're a very considerate partner :)
AB x
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A
male
reader, JSBach +, writes (4 September 2013):
JSBach is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Auntie Babbit. That was the kind of advice I was looking for. By the way, it's me who's in my late forties. My lady friend is mid 50s. You wouldn't believe it to see her dancing and singing all night though. I bet she could swim from Cuba to Florida too!
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (4 September 2013):
Ouch! I'm 42! I'm not post menopausal but having spent 20 years as a midwife and women's health expert I feel I'm pretty qualified to answer your question.
Menopause varies greatly from woman to woman. Most women go through menopause after 50 years of age but, and this will surprise you, we're all different! Some women have been known to have their menopause in their 20's other's not till their 60's.
The menopause can last for years or be over very quickly. There are no hard and fast rules for how long menopause lasts or when it will occur.
If your new lady friend has had her menopause you won't need to worry about contraception but you still need to consider sexually transmitted disease and condoms are the best protection for this.
If she has had her menopause, the main consideration for her sexually would be vaginal dryness which is caused by loss of oestrogen. There are many products available from chemists and pharmacy's for exactly this problem.
She may suffer hot flushes and night sweats depending where in the menopause she is.
All you can do, when you're relationship reaches that point of intimacy is discuss contraception. If she's been through menopause she'll be flattered if she hasn't then you've avoided offending her.
I think it's sweet that you've considered this but in her late forties your new lady is still quite young.
I hope that helps AB :) x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 September 2013):
 Amen Sage.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 September 2013):
well... what are you expecting a barren sahara?
I'm 53 and I'm not fully post menopausal yet....
let's see... ever done PMS with a woman? yep... hang on the mood swings are a lot like that.
My husband laughs at the covers however... i'm hot, I'm cold. I'm sweating, I'm freezing... all in a span of 15 minutes... usually at 3 am....
IF you mean... will she need lube? PROBABLY... and that is NOT in any way shape or form a reflection of her wanting or not wanting you... just like at 40 something your erections are not belly hugging any more... her blood flow is not as hot either...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 September 2013):
 I looked this up in the "Guys' Book of whatever you need to know about women, depending on where they are in the life-cycle" Under "post-menopausal" it has this:
"If'n you find you may end up in an intimate situation with a post-menopausal lady, HANG ON!!!... because, absent the fear of unwanted pregnancy, these creatures morph to the most-nymphomanical wildcats that you will ever encounter...."
Hope that helps clarify this matter for you....
Good luck.....
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