A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I'm going to try to tell my story briefly, but I have a lot of background info I need to explain. I have been in a relationship with my gf (I am also a girl) for a little over 2 years. We've been crazy in love. For the first 6 months, we had sex one or more times a day. Then a little less, but still enough for me. About a year ago, she went overseas to play soccer for 3 months. She met someone there that she originally had a crush on, but it turned into a good friend to her. However, the girl had serious feelings for her. Nothing physical happened, except that they cuddled a few times, which I was really upset about, but got over it. When she came back to the US, things were amazing for a while, but then she started emailing with this girl constantly and really becoming emotionally invested in her. Also, we started having sex less and less. Once a week maybe, and then eventually less and less. She would give excuses, that she was tired or in a bad mood. And I handled it poorly because I got frustrated and tired of getting rejected. Then one day, I found an email from her that was basically a love letter to the girl, it said how she felt like she loved her.. but didn't know if it was possible to be in love with two people at once. I confronted her and basically broke up with her. But she convinced me that she didn't know why she did it because she doesn't have feelings for her like she does for me, she cares about her a lot, but is not in love with her. The girl overseas was getting married to this boy and she knew that this girl was really gay, so she was trying to help her to not make a big mistake. In my opinion, she does have some sort of feelings for this girl and really misses her, but it doesn't compare to the way she feels about me. It's been about 6 months and she's won me back. The girl overseas got married and they don't talk at all anymore. We are doing really well.. we're living together and very happy most of the time. However, we're still having sex problems. We have sex once a week, and most of the time not even that much. And I always have to start it. Sometimes it's like I'm forcing her to. But once we get going, it's fine and just like it used to be. I just don't get why she's never in the mood anymore. I know she's still in love with me, but what is going on?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): Maybe she is not gay?
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