A
female
age
30-35,
*heNum13er
writes:This may sound weird, but I don't know of any other way to describe it other than the fact that I'm in love with a man I've never met. The other problem is that he's much older than me. I'm 17, but I'll be 18 the next time I see him, which if I'm not mistaken is the age of consent for the state I see him in. I see him at the Renaissance fair every fall. He sometimes watches me from the stage (he's an actor) and it's not in the creepy stalker kind of way. I really really like him. I don't think he's married, in fact I'm almost 99.9% sure he's single. But I don't know how to talk to him. Advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 April 2008):
Eye contact means everything or nothing. It could be that he is looking at you because he's checking you out. It could be that he's gazing at a bird over your head and you are reading it wrong.
It could be that you are staring at him so he is looking back.
The only way to figure out what this guy thinks of you is to go and talk to him. But then you risk finding out he is nothing like the man you imagined.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, TheNum13er +, writes (30 April 2008):
TheNum13er is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlright, I understand where you all are coming from where the eye-contact is concerned, but what does it mean when we make eye-contact when he's not on stage?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): It's a fantasy. In your mind, you have a connection because he looks at you when he's on stage. You say you see him every fall in a different state, so it's not like he lives near you, and you have had no opportunity to get to know him or assess what he's like. He may well be married, or in a committed relationship, engaged, or even gay for all you know - or divorced, with several kids (judging from your comment that he's a lot older, though my approximation of his age may be wrong.)It's probably not him that's the stalker - but you. Bored, lonely, and attracted to an older man that's out of reach. Your only concern is that you are the age of consent for him - what are you seeking, a relationship or mutual masturbatory sex? You don't want to inflate this into an obssession. Guys your age probably seem immature, but aim two or three years older and you'll find there are much more sensible and attractive guys around you, who it will be easy to get to know.This guy's an actor - he wants to draw people into the action, and making eye contact is what they teach everyone to do to keep people's attention: even when doing presentations in schools. He may catch the eye of every pretty girl, or every woman, or everyone whom his eye lights on as he looks into the audience. I don't think there's anything meaningful in that glimpse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Life is too short to wonder what may have been.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (29 April 2008):
 Its part of his act to make eye contact and it could be he doesnt remember you from one year to the next. Hang around after the show and chat to him if you really want to but dont worry if he's not the man you've imagined all this time. I'm a firm believer in fate so if it's meant to be it's meant to be but this does sound like a crush on your behalf. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 April 2008):
Don't talk to him. You've made him into your perfect man in your head. If you meet him you'll find out he's nothing like you imagine and be really let down.
He's an actor and loves the stage and attention. Do you think you are the only pretty girl that he looks at in that way?
I don't.
Keep him perfect and in your head.
If you do decide you have to talk to him then just go up and say hi, ask how you get to be an actor or something like that.
But be prepared for him to be an idiot.
Good Luck!! xx
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