A
male
age
51-59,
*avec
writes:Hi there, I am 40years old married for 17 years, I have had an affair 2 years ago there was no sex involved but still it was serious. My wife and I split up for 6 months my wife forgave me and we are trying again. Problem now is I love my wife but I am not in love with her any more. All we do is argue and I'm not very happy. I know it's my own fault but What should I do
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): Rather than jumping straight to long term marriage counseling, find yourself a good weekend workshop that will allow you to see if you can reconnect. My wife and I just did a Friday night, sat, Sunday am class and it was great! We simply needed a refresher on some stuff, but there was one couple that we laid odds on the wife not showing up for Saturday morning. They were on the verge of divorce, and by noon on Sunday recommitted to working through their issues. It was amazing to watch - and MUCH cheaper than a divorce!
A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (15 March 2011):
 If you are not happy and fighting lots this marriage may be past it's peak.
I witness my parents break up a few years ago and I could see it coming for about a year off and they said the exact same thing you have. They love each other, but are no longer in love because of things that have happened etc. etc. The point is they are much happier a part and are currently letting their wounds heal. The hardest part is coming to terms with the fact that it is going down hill, admitting that someone is wrong/over.
You could try relationship counselling? But if your heart's not it in, it may be best to go your separate ways.
Best wishes xxxx
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